The Angel's Voice
by DWDuck
Summary: The Doctor challenges Illyria for the fate of Fred's body and soul. The Devil Prince Sweet is called in to be the judge. Song-fic / Musical.  Third story in "The Doctor's Faith" series.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Angel's Voice  
Author: DWDuck  
Pairings: Faith and the Doctor (10th), Wes and Fred  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights to BtVS or Doctor Who. Joss Whedon and the BBC do, I'm just playing with their stuff. I am not musically talented and all of the songs, videos, and lyrics used belong to those who are and have put a great deal of work into them. Some of the lyrics have been modified and/or mixed for this story.

Author's Note: This is the third story in "The Doctor's Faith" Series. The series starts with "The Doctor's Faith Healing".

**The Angel's Voice  
Chapter 1**

A hush had fallen over the lobby of the LA branch of Wolfram & Hart. Angel and Spike had been knocked unconscious and Wes was leaning against a wall, holding his shoulder. In the center of the room was what remained of Fred Burkle. Illyria, the Old One, was wearing Fred's body and had done some minor cosmetic changes. She now had blue hair and pale, icy blue eyes. Illyria turned those cold eyes on Spike and started walking towards him, intent on destroying the vampire half-breed.

Spike regained consciousness in time to see the blue haired woman who had brutalized him walking in his direction. "Oh bugger," Spike moaned.

Illyria stopped when she heard a noise she had last encountered millions of years ago. She spun around as the sound of the TARDIS materializing echoed through the large lobby. A large blue box emblazoned with the words "Police Public Call Box" took form in a corner. When it was finally fully present, the doors were thrown open, allowing a man and woman to run out. The woman was a little younger than the body she had taken as her own. The woman had long brown hair and looked like she was ready for a fight. Illyria would gladly give her one, and then tear off her head and use it as a footrest. Illyria glanced at the man and she stopped to stare at him. She could see beyond his physical form- that of a man in his 30's with messy brown hair, wearing a brown pin striped suit. What see saw of him in the higher dimensions made her pause. He was one of the Elder Races, the group of beings that had banded together to defeat her kind. The man stopped about 10 feet away from her and glared.

"Who are you and what have you done with Fred?" demanded the Doctor.

"I am Illyria, the Old One, King of this part of the planet and object of worship and fear," Illyria said. "As too this Fred you speak of, her death was necessary to let me return to this plane and take up my reign again," she said without a trace of pity.

The Doctor balled his fists at her use of the term, "Old One". "Illyria, leave her body peacefully, or else," he warned.

Illyria recognized the tone in his voice and smiled when she was able to put a name to his new face. "Other, it's been too long," she said acidly.

The Doctor looked shocked at her calling him by the name he had used before he threw himself into the loom and emerged thousands of years later as the Doctor. "It's the Doctor now, if you don't mind," he said.

"Other…Doctor…it matters not," Illyria said. "I will take great pleasure in inflicting years of torture on you for what you did to us," she said with a smile.

"Back off, blue bitch!" Faith yelled. She wasn't about to let anyone threaten her lover and friend. She took a few steps forwards, ready to beat what was left of Fred Burkle into a bloody pulp. Faith was stopped by the Doctor's hand on her arm.

"Not this time, Faith," the Doctor said softly. "I have to deal with this on my own. It's my duty as last of the Time Lords," he said.

"If she lays a hand on you, I'm kicking her ass! I don't care whose face she's wearing," Faith assured him. The Doctor gave her a quick smile of thanks before looking at Illyria again.

"Illyria, you and your kind were originally defeated by the Shadow Parliament and therefore are subject to their rules, the Shadow Proclamation," the Doctor told her. "As designated representative of Gallifrey to the Shadow Parliament, I demand that you adhere to Convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation and submit to parlay," he said, authority ringing in his voice.

It grated on Illyria that a semi-mortal like this was right; but she knew that if she didn't want the combined powers of the Elder Races focused on her solely, she had to go along with his request for parlay. "What do you suggest,_Doctor_?" she asked.

"You believe that you have a right to enter and remain in this plane, I believe that you should return Fred's body the way you found it and leave for good," The Doctor pointed out. "We are at an impasse and therefore should submit ourselves to the Arbitrator for a ruling," he said.

Illyria paused to think things over. She thought she had a good case when it came to existing and could argue it well before the Arbitrator. She looked at the Doctor and nodded her head ever so slightly. "Agreed," Illyria said.

As soon as the word escaped her lips, Illyria and the Doctor vanished in twin flashes of blue light. Spike used an overturned couch to help himself stand. He looked at the disarray of the lobby and his injured friends. "Maybe I should have gone with Buffy to Rome after all," he said weakly.

The Doctor and Illyria arrived in the Arbitrator's court in flashes of light. The Doctor looked around in amazement. Even he had never seen anything quite like it. They were standing in a "room" with dark blue marble tiles forming the floor. The walls and ceiling were nonexistent. Instead, an observer could look out and see the multiple Time Vortexes that made up the Multiverse. The Doctor knew that he should have been driven mad by the mere sight, but the powers of the courtroom kept him sane. Just in case, the Doctor focused his sight on the lone object in the room (a simple desk) so he wouldn't risk staring off into something far worse than the Untempered Schism.

A green skinned man dressed in a business suit flashed into existence behind the desk. He pushed up his glasses on his face and leafed through a file that appeared in his hands. He clucked his tongue as he reviewed the application for arbitration.

"Arbitrator?" the Doctor asked. The green skinned man wasn't exactly what he was expecting to see when he met the being responsible for overseeing cosmic justice.

"Oh heavens and hells no," the green skinned man said, amused. "I'm simply the Clerk, the Arbitrator's assistant," the Clerk told him. "The Arbitrator is far too busy to mediate something as unimportant as a disagreement between the last of the Old Ones and the last of the Time Lords," he said.

"Then why are we here?" Illyria demanded. "If there is to be no arbitration, I demand to be returned to Earth so I may rule as I see fit," she said.

"I never said there would be no arbitration, I only said the Arbitrator himself wouldn't be doing it," the Clerk said. "As this case falls into the realm of Dark versus Light, we shall call up one of the pro-tem judges on our list to oversee things," he explained. The Clerk whistled to himself as he leafed through a book that had appeared on the table. "Ah, it looks like we used a judge from the side of Light last time; so that means we will be using a Dark judge this time. Seeing as you are both powerful higher beings, that means we have to find someone of equal strength," the Clerk muttered as he flipped to another section of the book. He ran his finger down a column printed on the page he found. "I think a either a Lord or perhaps a Prince of one of the hells should fit the bill nicely. Ah…here is one that signed up for pro-tem duty this millenium," the Clerk said. He snapped his fingers and a puff of black smoke took form in front of his desk.

The smoke swirled and condensed into a red skinned devil wearing a bright blue zoot suit. He kept spinning for another rotation after he had fully formed. When he was facing the Doctor and Illyria again he held one arm up and the other down at an angel from his body. "Yeah…" he said with a flourish.

"Sweet, thank you for coming on such short notice," the Clerk said.

Sweet smiled. "Always willing to do my _civic_ duty," he said in a voice that most jazz singers would (and few had) sell their souls to have.

"Here is the case," the Clerk said as he handed over the file.

Sweet closed his eyes and stretched his neck from side to side as the file dissolved and was absorbed into his hand. When the file was completely gone, Sweet opened his eyes and looked with even keener interest at the two petitioners. "This should be fun," he said with a literal twinkle in his eyes. "All right kiddos, this is how it is going to play out," Sweet said. "Since I am a judge on the side of Darkness, the burden of 'proof' rests with you, Doctor," he told the Time Lord. The Doctor started to speak but he was silenced by a motion from Sweet. "I don't really care what laws your Shadow Parliament set up in the form of the Shadow Proclamation," he said. "What I am more interested in is a duel of sorts to determine who wins," Sweet told them.

"With pleasure," Illyria said, smirking. She knew that one on one, the semi-mortal stood as much chance of beating her in a fight as the vampires did.

"Glad you agree, Illyria," Sweet said. "Especially since the duel will be on my terms; which means this will be a fair competition," he told her. Illyria looked confused as to what the Devil Prince meant. "This isn't going to be a physical fight," Sweet said. "Think of it more as a…competition of hearts and will," he said.

Sweet slid off the desk and tap danced over to the petitioners. "Here are the rules. The winner gets their claim upheld and the loser forfeits their lives to the winner," he said. "You will both submit to my magic and then we are going to reset the clock to two days ago. After that, we begin the trial," Sweet said.

"What does your magic entail?" Illyria asked him.

"Song and dance, of course," Sweet said as he did a short tap number to a burst of big band music that came from thin air. "Since the burden of proof lays with you, Doctor; you and your friends will be responsible for delivering a true show stopping number within those 48 hours in order to win the competition," he told the Doctor. "And since poor Miss Illyria there won't be in control of the human's body yet, I will let her summon enemies to interfere with you, within reason of course," he said, putting in the last bit when he saw a cruel, confident smile play across Illyria's lips.

Sweet clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "This promises to be quite entertaining," he said happily. Sweet looked at the Doctor with malicious glee. "Let the show begin," he said while snapping his fingers, causing the Doctor to disappear in a flash of light.

**Doctor Who Opening Credits**

The TARDIS passes by in the red stormy Vortex. Names fly by slowly one at a time:

David Tennant

Eliza Dushku

Tom Lenk

The names are followed by a flattened, golden ellipse with the words "Doctor Who" written on it. This flies away to be replaced by the words:

With  
David Boreanaz  
Alexis Denisof / J. August Richards  
Amy Acker / Andy Hallet  
And  
James Marsters

The names fly away and are followed by:

"The Angel's Voice"  
By DWDuck

**The TARDIS**

Faith Lehane came to consciousness slowly. She stretched luxuriously in the oversized bed she shared with her alien lover. Keeping her eyes closed, Faith put out her arm and felt around the bed for the Doctor. Not finding him, she opened her eyes. When she did, the TARDIS began raising the light level in their bedroom ever so gently. Faith looked over to the closet where he stored the clothes his current regeneration wore. His brown suit was missing. Faith sighed. Getting used to her lover's odd Time Lord sleep habits was still a pain. They went to bed together every night, but sometime after she fell asleep, he would get up and go back to monitoring the Vortex and the time flow.

Faith got out of bed and walked over to the dresser the TARDIS had added for her connivance. She was completely nude and slipped on a pair of dark blue panties she grabbed out of the top drawer. She paused when she saw a handwritten note on the top of the dresser. Faith grinned as she tried to read the note, which was written in High Gallifreyan, the one language the TARDIS would not translate. The Doctor had been teaching her his language and she was slowly getting the hang of the alien language. She picked up a quill and dipped it in the ink well next to the note. Faith carefully and deliberately wrote out a response below the Doctor's handwriting. She wrote what could be translated as "I love you, too."

Smiling to herself, Faith walked over to the Doctor's closet and grabbed one of his button-down dress shirts that he always wore. She then made her way to their large bathroom. She noticed that today's theme was Roman and slid her hand down one of the marble columns next to the vanity. Faith went through her usual morning rituals. When she was done with brushing her teeth, she started tapping the end of the toothbrush on the sink counter. Faith was tapping out a classic 4/4 time. She was so overcome with happiness with her relationship with the Doctor that she started to hum. Faith grinned broadly and grabbed her hairbrush, pretending it was a microphone and started singing. She was so happy that she could have sworn she heard music backing her up. Faith raced out of their suite and into the control room, where she found the Doctor hunched over the central console.

**Bad Case of Loving Who**

Faith tossed her head to the side, sending her hair flying.  
"** Wooah**

**A hot summer night, fell like a net  
I've gotta find my baby yet  
I need you to soothe my head  
Turn my blue heart to red**" she sang.

The Doctor looked up and smiled at Faith. She ran forward and stopped just short of touching him. She leaned forwards and shook her hips and shoulders in time with the music.  
"**Doctor, Doctor give me the news  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you  
No pill's gonna cure my ill  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you**" Faith belted out. She reached forward and grabbed his tie, pulling him closer to her.

The Doctor continued to grin at Faith and then began to sing himself.  
"**A pretty face and oh so pretty heart  
I've loved this girl, right from the start  
You think I'm cute, a little bit shy  
Faith, I ain't that kind of guy**" he sang.

Faith let go of the Doctor's tie and danced backwards, seductively.  
"**Doctor, Doctor give me the news  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you  
No pill's gonna cure my ill  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you**" she sang again.

The Doctor ran forward and took Faith in his arms. He spun her around and held her so her back was facing him. The Doctor leaned down and softly sang into her ear,  
"**I know you like it, you like it on top  
Tell me, Faith, are you gonna stop**"

Rolling her eyes in mock sarcasm, Faith turned in the Doctor's arms and pressed a finger to his lips.  
"**You had me down, 21 to zip  
Smile of Time on your lip  
Shake my fist, knock on wood  
I've got it bad and I've got it good**

**Doctor, Doctor give me the news  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you  
No pill's gonna cure my ill  
I've got a bad case of lovin' you**" she sang the chorus once again.

The song ended and Faith threw her arms around the Doctor's neck. She kissed him passionately and the Doctor's hand slipped down to cup her bottom. Their kissed was stopped short by a voice from the doorway into the interior of the TARDIS.

"That was awesome," Andrew exclaimed from behind his video camera. "Just like a real music video, complete with background music and everything," he said. Andrew turned off his video camera.

"You heard the music, too?" Faith asked. "I thought it was just in my head," she said a little confused.

"Oh…no…not again," Andrew moaned.

"What again?" Faith asked.

"A musical," he moaned. "Don't get me wrong, I love watching them; but I hate living in one," he said.

"What do you mean living in one?" Faith asked, not liking where this was headed.

"A couple years ago, a dancing demon was summoned to Sunnydale. He was able to enchant the entire town and make them sing about anything and everything," Andrew explained. "I sang about Dungeons and Dragons," he admitted.

"Well as invasive magics go, I guess that isn't too bad," the Doctor said hesitantly.

"It was really embarrassing," Andrew said. "You never knew what was going to come out of your mouth. People ended up singing about whatever they were thinking about. Jonathan and Warren sang a duet about internet porn," he said.

"I guess it could be worse. I mean…" Faith started to say.

"…in the grocery store?" Andrew asked, interrupting her.

"Shit," Faith said.

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch – Angel's Office**

Angel was looking over the days reports on his desk when his intercom buzzed. He pressed the talk button and spoke with his personal, vampire assistant. "Yes, Harmony?" he asked.

"Sorry to bother you, Boss, but there is a young man here who wants to see you. He doesn't have an appointment," Harmony said.

"What's his name, Harmony?" Angel asked, trying to keep his patience with his vacuum headed assistant.

There was a pause and then Harmony said, "He says his name is Connor."

"Show him in at once, and clear the rest of my appointments for the day" Angel said. He jumped out from behind his desk and ran to open the door.

Once Connor was through the door, Angel shut it quickly stopping Harmony in her tracks. She huffed and walked back to her desk. "Jerk," she murmured low enough that not even a fellow vampire could hear.

Inside the office, Angel embraced his son for an instant and then let him go. "Connor…what are you doing here?" he asked, concerned.

Connor had recently regained his memories from his life before being sent to his adopted family. These old memories stood side by side with memories of a life that never happened so that he could fit in with his "normal" family. The fake memories told him that he was the son of two loving and entirely human people who had raised him since birth. His old memories told him he was the impossible – the human child of two vampires.

Connor smiled at his vampire father and then shrugged his shoulders. "Ever since regaining my memories, I've been restless," he said.

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

"I'm the son of a champion," Connor said. "It's not like I would be satisfied with just an average life where I didn't risk getting killed on a daily basis," he said and playfully punched his father in the shoulder. The punch would have knocked an ordinary human to the ground, but only managed to knock Angel off balance slightly.

Angel took in a deep breath (entirely unnecessary for him) and let it out in a sigh. "I had hoped your false memories would have held and you would be kept safe," he said.

"Come on, Dad," Connor said. "Do you think you could ever just sit on the sidelines?" he asked. Angel shook his head; a small, proud smile beginning on his face. "I didn't think so. I'm as stubborn as you are," he said.

The family reunion was interrupted the sound of the TARDIS materializing next to his desk. Connor crouched in a fighting stance, ready to attack whatever came out of the strange blue phone booth. He looked back at Angel when Angel put a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, it's a couple of friends of mine," Angel said. "You remember Faith, right?" he asked.

Connor straightened up and then absent mindedly rubbed his shoulder in remembered pain. "Yeah, I remember her kicking my ass pretty well," Connor admitted.

Angel nodded towards the TARDIS. "That's her boyfriend's ride," he said. Connor looked Angel with a complete "You got to be shitting me" expression on his face. "Trust me…it's a lot cooler on the inside," Angel said earnestly.

The Doors to the TARDIS opened and Faith walked out, followed by the Doctor and Andrew. This was followed shortly by the door to Angel's office flying open and Fred, Wesley, and Lorne running into the room.

Fred ran over and hugged first the Doctor and then Faith. "We were walking by and heard the TARDIS arriving," she squealed with her Texan accent.

Wesley walked over, happier than the Doctor had ever seen him. He extended his hand and shook the Doctor's. "Welcome back, Doctor. Glad to see you in human form," he said.

"Actually it's Time Lord form, we were first; but I agree with you with both of my hearts. Being a puppet is not something I ever want to repeat," the Doctor said with a friendly grin.

"Hey, twerp," Faith said to Connor.

Angell and Connor looked at her in surprise. "You know who I am?" Connor asked. Part of the deal that Angel had made when he agreed to be CEO of Wolfram & Hart, LA division, was that his son be hidden and all memories of him be wiped from everyone but Angel.

"Of course I do," Faith said. "I used your face to polish the floors of Angel's hotel enough times," she joked. She saw the looks of confusion on the rest of Angel's team. "What's going on?" she asked.

Wes was the first to say anything. "I must have been absent that day," he muttered.

"I don't remember this guy either," Fred said. Lorne just shrugged his shoulders.

"Memory block?" the Doctor asked Angel. Angel nodded slightly. "Faith's time in the TARDIS has severed her link with whatever was blocking the memories," he explained.

"Our memories have been tampered with?" Wesley asked, concerned.

"Listen…I'll explain every…" Angel started to say. A red panic light began flashing on his phone. He had it put in so that Harmony could warn him of extreme danger. "Now what?" Angel asked in exasperation. He walked quickly out of his office into the lobby. The Doctor followed right behind him, ever the curious adventurer.

Harmony was backing away from her desk where a young, blonde woman was standing. The young woman, the same age as Faith, was wearing a black flight jacket covered in space mission patches. She was tossing a silver canister up and down in her hand. "Last time I'm gonna ask, Miss secretary," she warned. "Tell your evil boss to get their ass out here and explain why I'm being sued by over a dozen of your clients or I give this lobby a nitro9 redecorating" she said, barely keeping her cool.

"Ace?" the Doctor asked incredulously. Dorothy "Ace" McShane spun around and looked at the skinny, tall guy gaping at her. She glanced through the open door and saw the familiar sight of the TARDIS in the nearby office.

"Professor?" Ace asked in disbelief.

The songs used in this chapter are from the following artists and the rights to those songs belong to their respective owners (not me.)

"Doctor Who theme, 2009" – The BBC National Orchestra of Wales

"Bad Case of Loving You" – Robert Palmer


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office**

"Professor?" Ace asked in disbelief.

The Doctor ran over to Ace and gave her a big hug. He let go and held the young woman at arm's length. "Look at you," the Doctor said, trying to take in everything about his previous Companion. He cocked his head to the side as he looked down at her. "You're a lot shorter than I remember," the Doctor said in surprise.

"No, Professor," Ace said. "You're a lot taller, not to mention a lot younger looking," she pointed out. "What happened? I knew you would change if you …well you know…but I never expected you to change so much," Ace said.

The Doctor looked a little embarrassed as he ran his fingers through his constantly disheveled hair. "Yeah…err…about that," he said timidly. "From my perspective, it's been quite a while, Ace," the Doctor said.

"How long?" Ace asked.

"Um...I'm not really certain," the Doctor replied. "Something…bad happened, after we parted and I lost track of time," he said sadly.

Ace gave the Doctor an incredulous look. "What could happen that could make a Time Lord lose track of time?" she asked.

Faith saw the look of hurt on the Doctor's face and walked over to join him and his old friend. When she got to his side, Faith took his hand and gave it a squeeze; letting him know she was there for him. Faith knew what the event was that had muddled his recollection of time.

"There was a final war against the Daleks and both sides pulled out all the stops," was all the Doctor was willing to say.

Ace nodded knowingly. She had fought the Daleks on several occasions and had even been part of the Space Patrol's taskforce devoted to fighting them. Ace smiled slightly when she recognized the sad, distant look on the Doctor's face as one he wore when she traveled with him. She looked curiously at the girl holding the Doctor's hand. The new girl appeared to be the same age as Ace, somewhere in her early twenties. Ace guessed that this was the newest stray he was looking after, just like she had been. The Doctor had been the father she had never known and she would never cease thinking of him that way. She decided to break him out of his painful memories. "So Professor, you going to stand there all day like that, or are you going to introduce me to the latest model?" Ace teased.

This snapped the Doctor out of his fugue. "Oh, I'm getting rude in my old age," the Doctor joked. "Ace McShane, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Faith Lehane," he said.

"Nice to meet you," Faith said as she stuck out her hand. "I've seen your pictures around the TARDIS," she told her.

Ace shook Faith's offered hand numbly. She let go and looked up at the taller version of the man she had traveled with for several years. "Girlfriend?" was all she able to get out.

"Yeah, girlfriend," Faith said defensively. "You have a problem with the Doctor being happy and in a relationship?" she asked coldly.

Like most kids, Ace had weird feelings about her "parent" dating. The fact that the girl he was dating was the same age as her only made things worse; not to mention that _other_ thing that made him having a girlfriend totally strange. "But…I thought you were…" Ace said, letting the end trail off.

The Doctor gave a short laugh. "I was then, but I'm not now," he said. "Different body, different personality," the Doctor said as if that explained everything.

"No…Way…," Faith exclaimed. "Seven? I wouldn't have guessed him," she said. "Six definitely, but not Seven," Faith said.

"Oh no, Six was straight, believe or not," the Doctor said.

"With those clothes?" Ace and Faith asked together. They looked at each other and smiled, the ice broken.

The Doctor just shook his head; glad he had tossed most of Six's wardrobe into a sun. "Let's take this into Angel's office so we can catch up and I can introduce you to the rest of my friends here," he suggested. Ace gave him a funny look at the thought that he would have friends at the Universe's most evil law firm. They had only taken a few steps before the Doctor stopped them. "Ace, the nitro9," he reminded her, pointing at Harmony and her desk. Angel's assistant had finally got up the nerve to return to her post.

"Oh yeah, right, wouldn't want to blow up a law firm full of evil bastards would I, Professor?" Ace asked sarcastically. She jogged back to Harmony's desk and grabbed the silver canister. Harmony looked extremely relived to have the explosive taken away. "BOOM!" Ace shouted at her. Harmony was so startled she fell out of her chair.

Ace's antics caused the Doctor to sigh and roll his eyes heavenward. "That's my Ace," he said. Ace tossed the canister in her backpack and rejoined the Doctor as they went into Angel's office.

Once they were in the office, the Doctor introduced Ace to his friends. "Ace, these are my friends and contrary to what you might think, they are on the side of Light; even though they work at wolfram & Hart," he said.

"We're working on changing the system from the inside out," Wesley told Ace. "Wesley Wyndam-Price," he said and shook her hand.

"And I'm Fred Burkle," Fred said energetically. Ace shook the bubbly brunette's hand.

"Hey there sweetie, the name's Lorne," Lorne said and offered her his hand after switching the drink he was holding to the other hand.

Ace shook the green skinned demon's hand as casually as all the others. She looked up at him and asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what planet are you from? You look like you could be from Regulous 4, but your spots are the wrong color."

"Not a different planet, babycakes, different dimension," Lorne said. "All though a planet full of handsome cats like myself sounds like an _interesting_ place to visit. Maybe I can convince the Doctor to drop me off there sometime," he said.

The Doctor put his hands on Ace's shoulders and turned her around. "Ace, the man in black is the CEO for Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch. His name is Angel," he told her.

"Oh, you're the evil bastard I wanted to see," Ace said, her temper flaring.

The Doctor kept a hand on Ace's shoulder, but then removed it when Angel shook his head slightly. "Ex-evil bastard," Angel corrected her. "I don't go in for atrocities anymore," he said.

"He's right, Ace," the Doctor said. "He used to be an extremely evil and sadistic vampire known as Angelus. We met on a couple of occasions during my last regeneration. Now that he has his soul back, he changed his name to Angel and is trying to make up for all the horrible things he did," he explained.

"Well, he can start by getting those lawsuits against me dropped," Ace said.

"Absolutely," Angel said charmingly. He went around to his desk and picked up the phone. "Harmony, have Gunn come in to my office right away," Angel instructed his assistant. He hung up the phone and turned towards Ace. "My head attorney, Charles Gunn, will be here shortly and we can start on getting everything taken care of," Angel assured her.

The Doctor leaned over to Ace and said, "Even though Charles is a lawyer, he's still a good guy."

"Riiiight, Professor," Ace said. "I have a harder time believing that than believing in you having a girlfriend."

The Doctor gave Ace a stern look. He turned and motioned towards Andrew. "That is Andrew, he's a Companion; but for the lives of me, I can't figure out why," he said in a half joking manner.

"Were you really going to blow up the lobby if Angel didn't agree to see you?" Andrew asked, wide eyed.

Ace and the Doctor looked at each other briefly and then both of them said, "Yes."

"That's awesome," Connor said in admiration.

The Doctor looked at Connor. "And this is…actually, I have no idea who this is," the Doctor admitted.

"His name is Connor and he's Angel's son," Faith provided.

Everyone started talking at once. Wesley was the one to finally direct a question at Angel. "How? When? No wait…let's stick with just how," he asked, clearly confused.

Angel sighed and sat down at his desk. "It's a long story and I'll fill you guys in later. Right now I want to take care of Ms. McShane's problems and find out why our favorite alien stopped by for a visit," he told his people. Just then, Gunn walked into the office looking very disturbed.

"I got your page, Angel. I was on my way up here anyway. Something really weird is going on," he said. Gunn looked around at the modest sized group assembled. "Hey, Doc…Faith," he said in greeting.

Angel gave the Doctor a dirty look that meant he thought that whatever was going on was probably all his fault. The Doctor returned the look with one of practiced innocence. "What is it this time…demons, vampire cult, Nazis?" Angel asked. "It better not be another group of demonic puppets," he said. The Doctor nodded his head vigorously in agreement.

"Worse…far worse," Gunn said. The room became very silent.

Before Gunn could go on, Spike's voice could be heard coming towards the office. "No, pet. I haven't had a chance to ask him," Spike said. "We were sort of busy when I got here and things keep coming up," he explained. There was a long pause and then Spike said in a tired voice, "Yes, love, I'll take care of it today and then we can try and get a hold off the Doctor." Spike walked into the office and stopped in midstride as he saw the group of people and the TARDIS in a corner. "Never mind, he's here," Spike said happily. "I've got to let you go, pet," he said. There was another pause and Spike looked around, embarrassed. He sighed and then said, "A whole world full of love to you too."

"Brave, brilliant, beautiful Spike," the Doctor said. He pulled the blonde vampire in for hug, which Spike returned happily. "I thought you would have gone back to Europe and Buffy by now," the Doctor said.

"Still got some things to do," Spike said cryptically. "Who are the new kids?" he asked.

The Doctor smiled as he presented Ace. "This is Ace McShane, one of my previous Companions," he said. "Ace, this is Spike, a vampire that overcame his lack of a soul and fought to have it returned," the Doctor said proudly of his spiky haired friend.

If vampires could blush, Spike would have under the Doctor's praise. He quickly changed the subject. "Who's the short brooding guy over there?" Spike asked, indicating Connor.

"Apparently that's Angel's son, Connor," the Doctor said, still not sure how that was possible.

"Huh?" Spike asked, dumbstruck.

"Later, Spike," Angel told him. "Before you barged in here like this was your office, Gunn was telling us that something really bad was happening," he said.

Gunn was still trying to wrap his head around the thought of Angel having a son. "What? Oh yeah…potential horrible thing," he stammered. "The best way to explain this is to show you," Gunn said. He walked over to Angel's TV screen and pointed the remote at it. Gunn pressed in a special code on the remote and the interior of the men's locker room where the showers were appeared on screen. The image had a large pause button superimposed over it. The scene showed the shower area was full of the Wolfram & Hart SWAT team after they had finished their daily workouts. The low wall surrounding the showers hid the private parts of the squad. Gunn turned up the volume. "I was walking by the locker room when I heard this," he said. "I went to security and had them keep this part of the recording," Gunn told them. He hit play on the remote and stepped back so everyone could see the screen.

"The Scrotum Song (chorus)"

The SWAT team was busy lathering, rinsing, and repeating after a long workout. One of them looked down at what he washing and began to sing:  
"**Scrotum, Scrotum,  
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin.**"

The man next to him nodded in agreement. He sang out:

"**Scrotum, Scrotum,  
It's the thing I keep my testes in.**"

The entire SWAT team joined in on the song:

"**Well it's wrinkly and it's crinkly and it's covered with hair  
and I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't there.**"

The Swat teamed stopped singing and the first man sang alone:

"**Oh, scrotum, scrotum,  
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin.**"

Gunn stopped the playback. "I thought that maybe the SWAT guys had a musical gig on the side until I heard employees all over the building breaking out into song," he said. "Trust me when I tell you that you don't want to hear the song one of the guys in accounting sang about his romantic feelings for the copy machine," Gunn said with a shudder. The Doctor raised his eyebrow. Gunn saw his response and added, "Let's just say it wouldn't make it on the radio without a LOT of editing for explicit content."

"Eeew," Faith said, a disgusted look on her face.

"I don't know which is more disturbing – the fact that there is a hidden camera in the locker room or how catchy that 'Scrotum Song' is," Wesley said. "Is anyone else feeling …uncomfortable?" he asked. All of the men, including the Doctor, raised their hands. "Oh good, it's not just me then," Wesley said, reassured.

Fred was looking at the TV, deep in thought. She turned around slowly and pointed back at the screen. "Is there a hidden camera in the women's locker room?" she asked accusingly.

"Nope, sure isn't, uh-uh," Gunn said a little too quickly.

Faith slapped Gunn on the arm, hard, making him wince. "Pervert," she said.

"Oh bloody hell," Spike groaned. "Not again. Why me?" he complained. "And who's the bloody moron that summoned Sweet this time?" Spiked asked.

"Who's Sweet?" Connor asked.

"A devil prince with the ability to cause an entire town to live as if they were in a musical," Wesley told him. "According to Giles' after incident report, the energy released from the singing and dancing was sometimes enough to make the subject burst into flame," he said. Wesley closed his eyes, trying to remember the rest of the report. "The affect wasn't limited to just humans either, every sentient in the town was under the spell," he said. Wesley looked at Spike. "If I remember correctly, you were affected as well; proving that the undead were susceptible too," he said.

Spike nodded his head. "Yeah, but I sang rock songs, so it wasn't as bad as some of the others," he said.

Fred looked ill. "Vampires aren't immune?" she asked, just to make sure she heard correctly.

Wesley looked at her for a moment and then his eyes got huge. "Oh, dear lord," he cursed.

"Yeah now you see why this has the potential to be way worse than anything we've had to endure so far," Gunn said. As one, Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne turned to face Angel; the look of dread clearly showing on their faces.

"What? Why are you guys looking at me?" Angel asked defensively.

"Perhaps we can lock him in one of the safe-rooms until this blows over," Wesley said earnestly, ignoring Angel's question.

"Oh come on guys," Angel snorted. "I'm not that bad," he said.

"Angel, babycakes…boss of the year and champion for the hopeless…your singing is…well…help me out here guys," Lorne pleaded.

Gunn leaned over to Faith and whispered, "Dude couldn't carry a tune in a bucket…with a lid on it."

"I'll start researching right away to find out how long we can expect the spell to last," Wesley said. He looked at Lorne, then at Angel, then back to Lorne. "Use your connections to find a vocal coach, or… _something_," he ordered.

"Don't bother," the Doctor said.

"He's probably right, any vocal instructor I could find would probably stake themselves, just to make his singing go away," Lorne said.

"Hey!" Angel shouted, insulted.

"No, I meant about researching how long the spell will last," the Doctor clarified. "We have 48 hours," he told them.

"What did you do, Doc?" Faith asked he boyfriend.

"Yeah Professor, I know that look," Ace added.

The Doctor sighed. "I've engaged in a duel of sorts with an ancient demon. One of the Old Ones as a matter of fact," he said.

"What the fuck for?" Faith demanded.

"I'm going to have side with…your _girlfriend_ on this one, Professor," Ace told the Doctor. She was still having a tough time accepting that the Doctor was dating. "This is even dumber than some of the stunts you pulled back when I traveled with you," Ace said.

It was the Doctor's turn to feel insulted. "Oi!" he said.

"Doc, I'm sure you have your reasons," Spike said, defending his friend. "I just can't think of a single bloody one that would make any sense," he admitted.

As if on cue, Fred began to cough violently. She covered her mouth with her hand to keep from spreading germs to the others. Wesley held her shoulders gently while she coughed. When Fred pulled her hand away from her mouth, it was covered in blood.

"That's why," the Doctor said quietly.

Wesley looked at the Doctor, fear in his eyes. "What is happening to her? What do you know?" he demanded.

The Doctor shook his head sadly, for a moment his eyes showing his true age. "The Old One I spoke of is named Illyria," he said. "She took over Fred's body and went on a rampage. Illyria killed several people, including your entire SWAT team," the Doctor told them. "Spike got a hold of Buffy who in turn used the upgraded phone I gave her to call me," he said.

"I don't remember any of that," Spike said.

"That's because it hasn't happened yet," the Doctor tried to explain.

"Professor! You're the one who taught me how dangerous it was to meddle with your own timeline," Ace scolded.

"It wasn't me this time," the Doctor said. "Illyria was bound by the rules of the Shadow Proclamation and we agreed to seek arbitration. The cosmic beings who watch over justice decided to assign our case to a pro-tem judge," he explained. "It was our bad luck that the devil known as Sweet was next on the list," he said.

"Shit!" Spike muttered.

"Yeah, what Spike said," Faith agreed.

"We have 48 hours to impress Sweet or both Fred and I are dead," the Doctor said solemnly.

"You're risking your own life to save mine?" Fred asked between coughs. Wesley had finally broken down and explained to her just how important the Doctor was to the Universe.

"It's what he's best at," Ace said. She glared at the Doctor. "I suppose everyone in this room has been infected by this magical, musical blight?" she asked.

"Yeppp," the Doctor said. "All we can do now for Ms. Burkle is try to make her comfortable and put on the best show we possibly can," he suggested.

"Wes, get Fred to the medical ward and tell them to do whatever they can to either fix her or at least ease her suffering," Angel said as Fred coughed painfully again, this time sending blood droplets all over Angel's coffee table.

"Lorne, would mind getting her other arm?" Wesley asked as he helped Fred stand.

"Anything for Fred," Lorne promised as he grabbed Fred's other arm and the three of them made their way out of the office and towards the medical ward.

Angel looked apologetically at Connor. "Sorry, son. I know this isn't what you had in mind when you came to visit," he said.

"Actually, it's not too far from what I expected," Connor said. "You are a champion for Light and double as the CEO for the law firm of Darkness. I expected things to be in chaos," he said.

"Crap…I really like Fred, not to mention you," Faith told the Doctor. "What am I supposed to do for 48 hours?" she asked. "I'll go crazy just waiting around for something to happen. Patience isn't exactly my strong suit," Faith said.

Angel coughed, trying to cover up a snort of laughter at her words. He quickly regained his composure. "If you're looking for something to do, we located a large nest of vampires holed up in an abandoned building down on 43rd Street," Angel offered.

"How many?" Faith asked, suddenly in Slayer mode.

"30 or so," Angel replied.

"Yeah, I'm in," Faith said. She looked at Ace and her backpack full of explosives. "Want to go dust some blood sucking fiends?" Faith asked Ace.

"Angel doesn't mind us killing his kind?" Ace asked.

"Nope," Faith said. "Once they get turned, they lose their souls and become evil," she said. "Angel and Spike are the only two fang boys to get their souls back. They're the good guys," Faith explained.

"Do you think I'll get to blow anything up?" Ace asked her hopefully.

Faith nodded her head with enthusiasm. "Fuck yeah, you will" she said.

"Cool, I'm in too," Ace said.

"Hey Dad, I'm going to tag along with them," Connor told Angel. Ace gave the short teenager a look that asked what he could contribute to the party. Connor gave Ace a charming smile, clearly passed on from his father. "I'm the human child of two vampires," he said. "I got all of their strengths and none of their weaknesses," Connor told her.

"Come on, twerp," Faith said, motioning Connor to join them. "We'll keep count on the number we each dust and who ever loses buys dinner," she said. Faith turned to the Doctor, stood on her tip toes, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll be back before bedtime," the brunette Slayer promised.

**Abandoned Building, W. 43rd St, LA**

Faith pulled up to the curb in Angel's old, black convertible. He hadn't been too keen on letting the three youngsters borrow it since he had recently got it back from the body shop. This made Faith pause for about two seconds and then she hotwired the car anyway. The building they were in front of was a red brick, three story building that looked like it had doubled as a warehouse and offices.

"We're here," Faith said. The three young adults hopped out of the car and went around to the trunk. "Let's see what your dear old dad has left us to play with," she said to Connor. Faith opened it and her eyes lit up at the trunk full of death and mayhem. She grabbed a set of hard wood sais. "These look like fun," Faith said happily. Connor reached in and grabbed a medium sized battle axe and a traditional wooden stake. "See anything you like?" Faith asked Ace.

Ace glanced around the trunk full of weapons and then at Connor. "Your dad really knows how to party," she told him. Connor grinned like a schoolboy. Ace settled for a simple katana and tucked the sheath in between herself and her backpack.

Faith looked at Connor and Ace. "Remember, the one with the lowest death count buys dinner," she said. With that the three heroes strode into building through the front door.

"So What" by Pink, BTVS Girls – Heroes Song

And

"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen – Glee Cast Version – Vampires Song

The heroes made their way silently through the building. They came across a table and some ratty couches in the middle of the large warehouse section. Judging from the cash on the table and the bottles of still cold beer and warm blood, the vampires had just left. Faith closed her eyes and used her Slayer senses to track down them down. She heard movement from above her and off to the side behind a door. Faith looked at Connor and silently pointed to the ceiling and then the door. Connor nodded his head, indicating he heard them as well. He looked a little shocked when they heard Ace beginning to sing and taunt the vampires:

**Na na na na na na na  
Na na na na na na  
Na na na na na na na  
Na na na na na na**

Faith noticed Connor's look. "Roll with it," she told him. Her battle lust took over and she began to sing:  
**I guess we just lost the vampires, I don't know where they went**  
Faith walked over to the table and snatched the money, stuffing it in her pants pocket.  
**So I'm gonna take their money, they're not gonna pay their rent**

**(Nope)** Ace added and then sang:  
**I've got a brand new attitude, and I'm gonna wear it tonight  
I wanna get in trouble  
I wanna start a fight**  
The two women high fived each other and then Faith sang:  
**Na na na na na na na  
I wanna start a fight**

Ace repeated, singing:  
**Na na na na na na na  
I wanna start a fight**

The door on their right burst open and a pack of vampires spilled out. The door on their left also opened showing vampires running down the stairs and into the warehouse. Connor faced the group on the right while Faith faced the group on the left.

The first batch of blood suckers slid to a halt when they recognized Faith. The leader looked over his shoulder at his comrades and sang:

**Slayer walks warily down the street,  
Seeing her, our morale sinks way down low  
Ain't no sound but the sound of her feet,  
Wooden stakes ready to go** The vampire leader squared his shoulders and motioned for his group to attack.  
**Are you ready, Are you ready for this  
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat** he asked. Faith and Connor sprung into action, attacking the scared vampires. Faith drew first blood by smacking the leader in the face with her sai.  
**Into our faces her punches fly  
To the sound of the beat** the leader moaned.

Ace was feeling a little left out so she jumped in and gave Connor a hand. She wielded her sword with expertise, being taught by the Doctor. Ace tried to let out a battle cry as she decapitated a vampire, but it came out instead as:

**So what I'm still a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And I don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm havin more fun  
And now that you're dust  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you're a tool so  
So what  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And I'm going to dust you tonight**

Connor scored a blow to the heart with his stake and the vampire he was facing exploded into dust. Faith flipped over one vampire and threw her arms out to her sides, stabbing a vampire through the heart with each sai. Twin clouds of dust settled around her.

The remaining vampires sang out:

**Another one turns to dust  
Another one turns to dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one turns to dust  
Bob, did she get you too?  
Another one turns to dust**

Faith was standing behind Ace, who accidently hit her with the flat of the blade as she spun around. This distracted Faith long enough for a vampire to grab her and throw her through the card table. Faith stretched her back and then got up singing:

**I just got thrown into a table, and it kinda of stings**

**(Shit!)** Ace swore.

**I guess I'll go fight by Connor at least he'll know how to hit** Faith sang.

**(Oops)** Ace apologized.

Connor glanced at Faith when she came up next to him. He sang:  
What if this song's on the radio, then somebodys gonna die! haha  
I'm going to get in trouble, Angel will start a fight

Faith laughed at the situation and sang:  
**Na na na na na na na  
He's gonna start a fight**

Ace added:  
**Na na na na na na na  
We're all gonna get in a fight**

The vampire leader was moving his way to the rear of fracas when one of his own came flying through the air to land in a heap at his feet. The injured vampire looked up at his leader and sang:  
**Are you happy, are you satisfied  
How long can we stand the heat  
Into our faces her punches fly  
To the sound of the beat**

Connor and Faith giggled as they dispatched one vampire after another. They both sang out:  
**So, so what I'm still a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And I don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm havin more fun  
And now that you're dust  
I'm gonna show you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you're a tool so  
So what  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And I'm going to dust you tonight**

Ace watched the brunette Slayer and her friend with admiration. The sight of the attractive young man made her think about the Slayer and the Doctor. Ace sung softly about her father figure:  
**I wasn't there  
I never was  
I want it all but that's not fair  
You gave me life  
You gave your all  
I wasn't there, and then I fell**

A vampire stepped in front of Ace. She stomped down hard on his instep, crushing it. When the vampire reached down to cradle his abused foot, Ace swung her sword through his neck; turning him into dust.

The vampires chanted:  
**Another one turns to dust  
Another one turns to dust  
Another one turns to dust  
Another one turns to dust**

Things were looking bad for the vampire leader until his reinforcements arrived. 20 more vampires came running out of the doors. He smiled cockily at the Slayer and gave her a rude hand gesture.  
**There are plenty of ways you can hurt a vamp  
And bring him to the ground  
You can beat him  
You can stake him  
You can douse him with Holy water and kick him  
When he's down  
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you  
I'm standing on my own two feet**

Faith rolled her eyes at the vampire leader, dusted another vampire, and threw a third one at the leader. The newest vampire to lay in a heap in front of the leader sang:  
**Into our faces her punches fly  
To the sound of the beat**

Ace caught the other two heroes' eyes and she motioned with her back pack, a silver canister already in her hand. Connor and Faith nodded and the trio raced for the front doors singing:  
**So, so what we're still rock stars  
We got our rock moves  
And we don't need you  
And guess what  
We're havin more fun  
And now that you're dust  
We're gonna show you tonight  
We're alright  
We're just fine  
And you're a tool so  
So what  
We are rock stars  
We got our rock moves  
And we're going to dust you tonight**

Ace, Faith, and Connor got to the front doors and Ace rolled the silver canister back the way they came. They hurried outside and Connor jammed a piece of wood lying nearby through the door handles, blocking them. As they ran to the car, Ace sung:  
**Yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah, I'm going to dust you tonight  
I wasn't there  
I'm gonna dust you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you're a tool so  
So what  
I am a rock star  
I got my rock moves  
And I'm going to dust you tonight**

Inside the building, the vampires were banging on the doors to try to chase after the heroes. The vampire leader bent over and picked up the silver canister and looked it over. A small LED screen on the front was counting down numbers, "5…4…3…2…" Instead of the number "1", a cheery smiley face flashed.

Outside of the building, Faith jumped into the driver's seat and Connor jumped into the back seat. Ace vaulted the car door and landed in the back seat next to Connor. With a satisfied smirk, she sang:  
**Ba da da da da da**; and an explosion shook the building. The blast shattered windows and sent orange and red fire balls shooting into the night.

**  
The songs used in this chapter are from the following artists and the rights to those songs belong to them (and probably a whole gaggle of records executives.)**

"The Scrotum Song" – Asylum Street Spankers

"So What" – Pink

"Another One Bites the Dust" – Queen – Glee cast version


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office**

Wesley left Fred's side for a few moments to go give Angel an update on her condition. Illyria's infestation was slowly destroying her internal organs. The company doctors confirmed what _the_ Doctor had said. Fred had less than 48 hours to live. After Fred had been given some medicine to help her rest, Wesley snuck out of the room; careful not to wake her.

Wesley found the Doctor, Gunn, Lorne, and Spike in Angel's office. Angel was sitting behind his desk, doing a capable job of juggling things. Thankfully, Angel seemed to be immune to the magic that caused everyone to sing._"Probably not that many songs about brooding,"_ Wesley thought.

When Angel saw Wesley come into his office, he stood up. "How's Fred?" he asked, his concern etched on his face.

"Just about the same as the Doctor said she would be," Wesley said. He had hope beyond reason that they could find something to cure her, even though the Doctor had told them in a different time line they had failed.

"So it all rests on us putting on a 'show stopping' number, huh?" Angel asked rhetorically. "Lorne, this is your specialty; what have you got for us?" he asked the green skinned demon in charge of their entertainment division.

Lorne took a sip of the drink he was holding, using the extra moment to get his thoughts together. "I thought about calling in some of the stars we have on contract; but whenever I tried to dial one of them on the phone, I get a magical recording telling me that bringing in ringers is forbidden for team Light," he said. "It is all going to rest on us here," Lorne sighed. He brightened up a little when he said, "Of course that isn't too bad, half of the 'stars' we have on contract can't perform without auto-tune."

"Angel, I need to talk to you," Spike said softly.

Angel ignored the other vampire. "Gunn, they added the entire works of Gilbert and Sullivan to your mind; any ideas?" Angel asked his head lawyer.

"Sorry Angel, I can't think of any of the old numbers that would be considered show stoppers by today's standards," Gunn admitted.

"Angel, it's important," Spike said, again trying to get his grand-sire's attention.

Angel continued to ignore Spike. "I can't believe Fred's life depends on us singing and dancing," he lamented. The Doctor coughed politely. "Oh, and the Doctor's life as well," Angel added.

Spike was furious about being ignored, especially since Buffy had practically ordered him to have this conversation with Angel. He had wanted to do things gently, but Angel was forcing his hand. "Dammit, LIAM!" Spike shouted. All eyes were on his; including Angel who was peeved that Spike had used the name he had born with. "Buffy and I are getting married and we want you to be in the wedding party," Spike managed to get out.

"My god, are you serious?" Wesley asked, astonished.

"Yeah, I know. Who would have thought that I would ask Angel to be a groomsman? Buffy insisted," Spike chuckled.

"No…I meant about the Slayer marrying a vampire," Wesley corrected. Both Angel and Spike gave him a dirty look.

"That's absolutely wonderful, Spike, congratulations," the Doctor said, shaking Spike's hand.

Spike refused to let go of the Doctor's hand and looked the ancient alien in the eyes. "If it wasn't for you, Buffy would have never comes to grip with how she feels about me," he said. "I owe you more than I can ever repay. That's why I want you to stand with me at the altar as my best man," Spike told him.

The Doctor's grin became even wider. "I would be truly honored," he said in a soft voice, choked up with happiness. "Have Buffy call the TARDIS as soon you two set a date. That way I can set a temporal alarm and make sure I get there at the right space time location," the Doctor requested.

Spike hadn't really understood most of what the Doctor was saying, but he promised to pass on the instructions to Buffy.

"This calls for a drink," Lorne said cheerfully. "My office boys, best hooch in the place," he said and led the group of men out of Angel's office.

"Jessie's (William's) Girl" by Rick Springfield

Angel made it as far as the doorway to his office, before he had to stop and compose himself. He felt like his non-beating heart was being torn from his body. Angel sighed and watched Spike's retreating back. A small red skinned devil in a suit and skinny tie walked by and handed his boss an electric guitar. Angel slung the strap across his shoulders and began to play. He was unable to keep himself from singing softly.

**William is a friend  
Well, he's sorta been a friend of mine  
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define  
William's got himself a girl and she used to be mine**

Angel strolled out into the lobby, the anguish clearly evident in his voice. He kept playing while other red skinned demons set up a drum set and other instruments behind him. Eventually the equipment was set up and the demons sat down, ready to play. Angel nodded to the band and they joined in. He started singing louder than he had before, only slightly off-key. Angel's expression was one of disgust.

**And she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's loving him with that body I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late at night**

You know, I wish that I had William's girl  
I wish that I had William's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?

Wolfram & Hart employees walked through the lobby, oblivious to the fact that their CEO was singing. Hazy images of Spike and Buffy in romantic positions flashed up on the wall.

**I'll play along with the charade  
There doesn't seem to be a reason to change  
You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute  
I wanna tell her that I love her  
But the point is probably moot**

Angel forced himself to turn away from the images when they became more erotic.

**Cause she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's loving him with that body I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late at night  
You know, I wish that I had William's girl  
I wish that I had William's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that  
Like William's girl  
I wish that I had William's girl  
Where can I find a woman  
Where can I find a woman like that**

Angel walked over to a large mirror mounted on a wall and stared angrily at his lack of a reflection.

**And I'm looking in the mirror all the time,  
Wondering what she don't see in me  
I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines  
Ain't that the way love supposed to be**

Tell me, where can I find a woman like that!

Angel dropped to his knees and belted out an 80's style guitar solo. At the end of the solo, he stood back up and leaned his back against the mirror in dejection.

**You know, I wish that I had William's girl  
I wish that I had William's girl  
I want William's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?  
Like William's girl,  
I wish that I had William's girl,  
I want I want William's girl**

Angel handed the guitar back to one of the demons and then went into his office to brood.

Faith was driving back to Wolfram & Hart and spared an occasional glance in the rearview mirror at the Ace and Connor in the back seat. Connor seemed to be totally stricken by their explosive loving friend. Faith had a small, devious grin on her face as a plan started to come together in her mind. "So, let's figure out who buys dinner tonight," she said. "It's going to come down to either you or me, Connor. Blowing up the whole damm building puts Ace firmly in the lead for the most vampires killed," Faith admitted.

"Well, I think I dusted at least 12," Connor said.

"Shit, I only got 11," Faith lied. In truth she had dusted 13 of the blood suckers, but her losing was part of her plan. "I guess that means dinner is on me. Luckily I made a withdrawal from the vampires' petty cash fund before Ace could send it up in smoke," she said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out the wad of cash she had confiscated from the vampire nest.

"Maybe you're out of practice," Connor teased.

Faith gave him the finger and then rolled her shoulders as if she were stiff. "Maybe I am a _little_ out of practice," she lied. "Tell you what, how 'bout you guys go on without me, I think I'll hit the hot tub in the TARDIS," Faith said. She handed the cash back to Connor as they pulled into the parking garage of Wolfram & Hart.

Connor looked like a deer in the headlights. Ace snatched the cash from Faith's hand. "I think Connor and I will be able to manage," she said. Ace caught Faith's eye and winked at her. Faith smiled back.

Faith and Ace switched places after Connor admitted he didn't know how to drive. Connor moved up to the front passenger seat. Faith waved as Ace tore out of the garage, Connor holding on for dear life.

Faith made her way through the evil law firm's building and eventually into the TARDIS. She walked past Andrew in the hallway. He was holding a 10" action figure of the Doctor in his hand. "I know the TARDIS can make just about anything, but that's just creepy," Faith told him.

"I like collecting action figures and I can't think of anyone more heroic than the Doctor," Andrew said, defending his toy.

"Whatever…" Faith sighed and went off in search of the Doctor.

"Conventional Lover" by Speck

Andrew hurried into his room and stared at his new treasure. He made sure the door was locked. Andrew remembered an erotic dream he had the night before and began singing to the action figure.

**Who left you hanging on that peg all alone?  
You look near mint to me boy and I wanna make you my own  
I wanna be your captain, my Pon Farr is a-risin'  
So step on over here boy, my love is enterprisin'**

Andrew put the Doctor doll on the table next to his bed. To his surprise it stood up on its own. A 10" action figure of Andrew appeared next to it and the toys began dancing.

**Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me show you some conventional love  
I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag  
But I'm a man whose only issues all come in Mylar bags**

Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me give you my conventional love  
I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice  
And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice

The Doctor action figure sang out **They're polyhedral**

Andrew quickly grabbed his video camera and began taping while he was singing.

**Let's hit the dealer's room and get you something fine  
That collectors bust of Cthulhu reminds me of how you blow my mind** The clothing on the Andrew action figure transformed into a classic series Star Trek uniform.  
**Now let me take you dancing in my best Starfleet dress uniform  
You'll want to tap my manna once you've seen me perform**  
The Andrew toy swayed its hips suggestively at the other action figure.

**Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me show you some conventional love  
I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag  
But I'm a man whose only issues all come in Mylar bags**

Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me give you my conventional love  
I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice  
And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice

The Doctor action figure started walking away like it wasn't interested. The Andrew doll sang out: **Uh oh, savings throw** When it did, the Doctor action figure ran back into the arms of the other toy.

Andrew watched the two action figures dance together and he smiled a wistful smile and then sang some more.

**And when we get to mating, I'll always treat you kind  
I'll never bend you too far back or ever crease your spine  
But there's one thing I won't promise, there's one thing I won't do  
Can't leave you in the box boy, this collector is coming through**

Andrew was slightly embarrassed at what the action figures were doing after that verse. Especially after he found out they were anatomically correct. Andrew sang on.

**Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me show you some conventional love  
I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag  
But I'm a man whose only issues all come in Mylar bags**

Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me give you my conventional love  
I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice  
And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice

The dolls stopped moving on their own and the Andrew one disappeared. Andrew picked up the suddenly fully dressed Doctor action figure and sang quietly to it.

**Let me be your conventional lover  
Let me give you my conventional love  
I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you fine  
And I'll make sweet love to you while we're watching Deep Space Nine**

Faith had looked all over the TARDIS and couldn't find the Doctor. She eventually went to their bedroom and chided herself for not looking there first. She found the Doctor looking at the picture Andy Warhol had done for them. When the Doctor turned around, he had a goofy smile on his face.

"What?" Faith asked, seeing his smile.

"Have I told you recently how happy you make me?" the Doctor asked.

"Not today, but I'm listening," Faith said matching his smile. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around the Doctor. Faith looked up at him and said in a moment of frailty, "Don't ever leave me."

"Where My Heart Will Take Me" by Russell Watson

The Doctor stepped back from Faith . "Are you kidding me?" he asked. Faith wasn't sure about what he meant until he started singing.

**It's been a long road, getting from there to here.  
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.  
And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing's in my way.  
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not .  
gonna hold me down.**

The Doctor took Faith's hands and placed them over his hearts.

**Cause I've got Faith of the hearts.  
I'm going where my hearts will take me.  
I've got Faith to believe. I can do anything.  
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.  
I can reach any star. I've got Faith, Faith of the heart.**

Faith began to cry silently at the out pouring of the Doctor's love. The Doctor gently wiped away a tear off her cheek.

**It's been a long night. Trying to find my way.  
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.  
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.  
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not  
gonna change my mind.**

Cause I've got faith of the heart.  
I'm going where my hearts will take me.  
I've got Faith to believe. I can do anything.  
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or  
break me.

The Doctor took Faith by the hand and they danced out of their bedroom into the control room. He let go of Faith's hand and danced away to the opposite side of the Time Rotor. The Doctor leaned over so Faith could see him.

**I can reach any star. I've got Faith, Faith of the heart.  
I've known the wind so cold, I've seen the darkest days.  
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.  
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.  
But I'll be fine ...**

Cause I've got Faith of the heart.  
I'm going where my hearts will take me.  
I've got Faith to believe. I can do anything.  
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or  
break me.

Faith ran over to where the Doctor was and leaned against the railing. She stared at the Doctor, drinking in how handsome her alien lover was. They smiled at each other and the Doctor continued to sing.

**I can reach any star. I've got Faith, Faith of the heart.  
Cause I've got Faith of the heart.  
I'm going where my hearts will take me.  
I've got Faith to believe. I can do anything.  
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or  
break me.  
I can reach any star. I've got Faith…Faith of the heart.**

The Doctor stopped singing and Faith rushed him, nearly knocking him over when she wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him like she had never kissed him before, assured of their love. Faith stepped back and took one of the Doctor's hands. She started leading him to the door that led to the interior of the TARDIS. "Come on, Doc. Let's go to bed," Faith said in a sexy voice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4  
Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office**

Another vampire with dyed hair strolled into the lobby of Wolfram & Hart. Unlike Spike, he had only had the tips frosted blonde. This particular vampire was wearing his favorite black hoodie and dark jeans. He was also wearing a huge smile as he twirled around to see everything.

"I love it," the Master mused to himself. "I wonder why I never came here before?" he asked himself. Truth was that the Master never really had a use for lawyers before this. He killed most those who got in his way and laughed at planetary laws. The only reason he had come to the law firm today was a strong psychic pull. The Master recognized a psychic summons when he got one; he had indulged in mind control quite a bit over his lifetimes.

Harmony had been working late. Her fridge was empty and it was easier (and cheaper) to snag the free blood at the office rather than go to the all night butcher's shop. She looked up from her desk and saw a handsome man twirling around with a huge grin on his face. Harmony thought he looked a little like her lost Blondie Bear. She thought they were really quite similar. They both went in for changing their hair color and both of their eyes held a keen predator's look. When the man started towards her desk, Harmony smoothed out her suit dress and ran her tongue over her teeth to make sure there wasn't any lipstick there. If she had had a heart, it would have fluttered when he leaned on the tall reception desk and gave her a charming smile. Her vampire senses picked up the odor of another vampire coming from him. It was slightly different than she was used to and she thought it made him smell great. "How can I do you?... I mean what can I do for you, sir?" Harmony flubbed.

The Master put on an extra layer of charm for the relative fledgling, he had always been fond of blondes. "First off, you can tell me your name, you gorgeous thing," he said.

Harmony couldn't help the smile that plastered itself on her face. "Uh…Harmony," she managed to say.

The Master reached over and picked up Harmony's hand. He gently raised it to lips and kissed her knuckles. "It is truly pleasure, Harmony. My name is the Master,' he said.

Harmony was beginning to wonder if there was some mystical force that granted some vampires an incredible sex appeal (Spike, Angel, and now the Master) and left others with a severe deficiency. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and focus on business. "What can Wolfram & Hart do for you tonight?" she asked. "Are you needing legal representation, a contract put out on someone, or passage into another dimension?" Harmony recited.

"All of those sound like wonderful services, but alas it is not what I'm here for," the Master said. "I received a sort of…invitation to come here. The only problem is I don't know who invited me," he told her.

"Well, I could ask around for you? I'm sure I could find who is looking for you," Harmony offered.

"Oh, don't worry yourself on my behalf," the Master said smoothly. "I have no doubt that whomever called me here already knows that I have arrived and will present themselves when they are ready," he said.

Harmony absent mindedly twirled a lock of her hair around a finger. "If you don't mind me asking, why would you be summoned to Wolfram & Hart?" she asked.

"When You're Evil" by Voltaire

The Master gave her a sultry smile and a conspiratorial wink. "It's because I'm evil," he said softly to her. The Master spun away from her desk and struck a dramatic pose. He began to sing.

**When the Devil is too busy  
And Death's schedule a bit too much  
They call me, by name you see,  
For my special touch.**

The Master sauntered back to Harmony's desk, the whole time keeping his eyes locked with Harmony's.

**To the Gentlemen I'm the Master  
To the Ladies I'm Surprise  
But call me by any name  
Anyway it's all the same**

The Master reached over the desk and grabbed Harmony's hand. He led her around the desk and then into the middle of the lobby. The Master forcefully pulled Harmony into a position to dance the tango with him.

**I'm the fly in your soup  
I'm the pebble in your shoe  
I'm the demon in your bed  
I'm a bump on every head  
I'm the peel on which you slip  
I'm a pin in every hip  
I'm the thorn in your side  
Makes you wriggle and writhe**

The last bit he raised his eyebrows suggestively while singing it. Harmony bit her lip to keep from sighing in heated expectation.

**And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me**  
A devil happened to walk by at that moment and did in fact tip his hat to the Master.

**I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!**

The Master dipped Harmony low and took a long, unhidden glance down her shirt. Harmony thrust out her chest to give him a better view. The Master pulled her up and spun her around. Again he forcefully pulled her to him and they continued to dance.

**While there's children to make sad  
While there's candy to be had  
while there's pockets left to pick  
While there's grannies left to trip  
down the stairs, I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner  
It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it  
'Cause there's one born every minute**

Harmony gave the Master one of her best come hither looks. She joined him in the chorus.

**And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me  
I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

The Master let go of Harmony and struck another dramatic pose.

**I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark  
and I promise on my damned soul  
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub  
Has never seen a soldier quite like me  
Not only does his job, but does it happily.**

The Master kicked out his leg and spun around. He started dancing a seductive dance, all for Harmony's enjoyment.

**I'm the fear that keeps you wake  
I'm the shadows on the wall  
I'm the monsters they become  
I'm the nightmare in your skull**

I'm a dagger in your back  
An extra turn on the rack  
I'm the quivering of your heart  
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.

Harmony ran to him and this time it was her who forcefully pulled the Master into the tight embrace. They sang together.

**And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me  
I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

They stopped dancing and had their cheeks pressed together. He Master leaned back and gave Harmony a look of sadness.

**It gets so lonely being evil  
What I'd do to see a smile  
Even for a little while  
And no one loves you when you're evil**

Harmony started to tear up for the handsome man. The Master grinned at how completely he had Harmony in thrall.

**I'm lying though my teeth!  
Your tears are all the company I need** he sang as he ended his song.

Harmony took in a breath and grabbed the front of the Master's hoodie. "You…me…empty office…now!" she demanded.

"I am here but to serve," the Master purred. Harmony drug him off to the nearest empty office that offered a locked door and sound proofing.

Knox had been hiding in the shadows and watched the whole dance in interest. "This makes things a bit more complicated," he muttered. Knox's form blurred and then shifted into Doctor Drayelav. "Complicated, but interesting. It's good to see you old friend," the bald doctor whispered to the Master's retreating back. He walked off to his medical office, eager for his upcoming confrontation with the pathetic excuse for a lawyer known as Charles Gunn.

**The Hunt Steak House, Hollywood**

"The Doctor actually did that?" Connor asked. They had just finished dinner and were enjoying each other's company at their table next to the small dance floor in the center of the dinner club.

"I swear on my life," Ace giggled as she held up her hand. "He was always doing something to piss off the military," she said. Ace sobered up a bit and looked Connor in the face. "Did you really grow up in Hell?" she asked him.

"One of the hells, yeah. You would be surprised how many there are," Connor said. He wondered if his past would be something that would drive her away.

"I grew up in Perivale…pretty much the same thing," Ace joked. She got an odd look on her face. "How did Angel get hair gel in Hell? He doesn't seem like the rustic type," Ace asked.

Connor's face darkened slightly. "I was stolen from Angel when I was a baby," he said. "I was raised by a man he tortured while he was Angelus. I grew up hating my biological father," Connor told her. "I've only recently started liking the guy, thanks to some normalizing false memories he had implanted in me," he said. He saw the puzzled look in Ace's eyes. "Angel took over being CEO of Evil, INC. in exchange for sending me to a normal family with no memories of him or Hell. It worked great for a while, but then my real memories surfaced next to the fake ones. Luckily my real ones seem more like a nightmares than real," Connor said.

Ace reached across the table and squeezed his hand in support. "I think you turned out great," she said.

"Teenage Dream" – Glee version (Tufts University Beelzebubs)

The all male wait staff started to wonder over to Ace and Connor's table in pairs. When all of them were crowded behind them, the Maitre d' began snapping his fingers and the whole group started giving a back up beat and music, acapella style. Connor smiled and began singing.

**You think I'm handsome without any mask on  
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong  
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down**

Before you met me, I was a wreck  
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine

Connor stood up from the table and faced the wait staff. He bobbed his shoulders in time with them and the music. Connor looked over his shoulder and gave Ace a smile full of boyish charm.

**Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever**

Connor pointed at Ace, who was blushing from the attention.

**You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back 

Connor and the wait staff spun around and took a couple of steps away from the table while they sang. The Maitre d' broke free and poured Ace a glass of champagne.

**We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and built a floor out of sheets  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete**

Connor ran back to the table and grabbed Ace's hand. He pulled Ace from her chair and led her to the dance floor.

**I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

Ace looked into Connor's eyes and decided to follow her heart. She sang the next verse.

**My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so let's take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back**

Ace pulled Connor into a tight embrace and kissed him passionately. The wait staff sang on without them.

**I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight**

When the song ended, Ace and Connor were still on the dance floor, kissing. They were oblivious to the applause coming from the other diners.

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office**

Drayelav was polishing some of his equipment when Charles Gunn stormed into his office holding a shipping manifest. "You bastard! What did you do?" Gunn yelled.

"You're going to have be more specific, counselor. I have a lot balls in the air at the moment," Drayelav said with a smirk.

"You brought that sarcophagus into the building! You're the reason Fred is dying," Gunn spat.

"Well, actually it was a couple of Fyarl demons that actually brought it into the building," Drayelav said. "As for it being my fault...may I see that shipping order?" he asked. Drayelav snatched the piece of paper out of Gunn's hand. The evil doctor looked at the form and clucked his tongue reproachfully. "My name is nowhere on this order, my dear Charles. However, I do see your name as the one who authorized it to bypass customs," he said smugly.

"I'm going to kill you!" Gunn roared.

"I would actually be very interested in seeing you try, you pathetic gutter rat," Drayelav said in a conversational tone. He showed no fear of the younger and larger man.

Gunn cocked back his fist to pound the bald doctor, but was shocked when he fist refused to complete the motion. He looked at his hand in shock and confusion. "What the hell?" Gunn asked.

"How are those headaches, Charles?" Drayelav asked nicely. "Still giving you problems?" he inquired. Drayelav's face became cold and for the first time, anger shone in his eyes. "Do you honestly think I would invest so much into your feeble mind and _NOT_ take precautions?" he asked. A look of horror crossed Gunn's face. "Ah…the wheels are starting to turn in that mind I enhanced. Yes, Charles, I left a little extra in your gray matter. You are absolutely incapable of harming me," Drayelav told him. "Not to mention the self destruct word I left."

"What? What do you mean 'self-destruct'?" Gunn stammered.

"Just what it sounds like," Drayelav said. "All I have to do is say one simple word and your brain sends a signal to your heart to shut off…for good," he told him. Drayelav went back to polishing his equipment. "You may leave now, Charles. Oh…and I would be careful if I were you about what you tell your friends. I'm not so sure they would be all that understanding about your involvement in this whole thing," he said. Drayelav looked up and stared into Gunn's eyes. Gunn was the first to look away. "How do you think Mr. Wyndam-Price will feel when he learns you are responsible for his girlfriend's death…not to mention the rise of an Old One?" he asked.

Gunn looked like he was going to be sick right there. He turned on his heel and staggered out of the office. Drayelav whistled a jaunty tune as he tidied up. He was tickled pink that just down the hall, poor Miss Burkle was being transformed into Illyria and he could finally give up his charade as one of the disgustingly inept Powers That Be.

**Wolfram & Hart, ICU room**

"I Want To Hold Your Hand" – Glee version

The Wesley looked down at the woman he had loved ever since he first laid eyes on her in Pylea. Fred had mercifully lapsed into unconsciousness, letting her escape from the pain for at least a little while. Tears were beginning to run down Wesley's face as he took Fred's hand in his and began to sing softly.

**Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,  
I think you'll understand.  
When I say that something  
I wanna hold your hand,  
I wanna hold your hand,  
I wanna hold your hand.**

Wesley reached over with his other hand and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face.

**Oh please, say to me  
You'll let me be your man  
And please, say to me  
You'll let me hold your hand.  
Now let me hold your hand,  
I want to hold your hand.**

Tears were flowing freely on Wesley's face and he was forced to wipe some of them away to keep them from dripping down on his love.

**And when I touch you I feel happy inside.  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide...**

Wesley closed his eyes tightly, trying to force back the anguish so that he could be strong for Fred. He opened his eyes again and gently stroked Fred's cheek.

**Yeah, you've got that something,  
I think you'll understand.  
When I feel that something  
I wanna hold your hand,  
I wanna hold your hand,  
I wanna hold your hand,  
I wanna hold your hand.**

Wesley leaned over and gently kissed Fred's forehead. He then leaned back in his chair and wept, unashamed of the tears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office – Dr. Drayelav's Office**

Dr. Drayelav carefully locked the door behind him as he entered his office. One couldn't be too careful when summoning an ancient evil. He snickered at the thought of the chants and rituals others went through to do it. Drayelav knew that all anyone had to do was just open a metaphysical door wide enough to let the entity in. Evil always accepted invitations into this plane. Things were so entertaining here. Drayelav leaned back on his desk and spoke into the empty air. "Illyria, we need to talk," he said.

A ghostly image of Fred Burkle appeared in the room. She had blue hair and blue tinged skin. Illyria glanced down at her body and then accusingly at Drayelav. "Why am I stuck in this form?" she demanded.

Drayelav sighed wearily. "Right now you are just a construct of my imagination," he tried to explain. "I like how you look in this form. It's much more visually appealing than your true nature," Drayelav said.

Illyria glared at Drayelav. "You told me that everything would go off without a hitch," she said accusingly.

"Well, the Doctor showing up at the last minute wasn't something I planned on," Drayelav said with a shrug. He opened up the small fridge he kept behind his desk and grabbed a bright red apple. "If only it was that easy," Drayelav said under his breath.

"If only what was so easy?" Illyria asked, unfamiliar with English sayings.

"You know… 'an apple a day'…oh never mind," Drayelav muttered. "I called you here to offer my help again," he said.

Illyria was sick that she had to accept the help of one of the annoying beings calling themselves the Powers That Be. "Before I agree to your assistance, I need to know what you want in return," she told him.

"Nothing has changed. I want the same agreement as last time," Drayelav said with a shrug.

The Old One cocked her head in curiosity. "I still don't understand your request. Why do you want me to grant you a mortal body when you have gone far beyond those limitations?" she asked, genuinely confused.

Drayelav changed form into Knox. "Let's just say there are a lot of things I can accomplish in a regular body that can't do as a 'Poser That Pees'," he said insulting his current associates. Knox ran his hand through his full head of hair. "Oh…and when we win; I would prefer to look like this rather than the bald version, if you don't mind," he said.

Illyria straightened her head. As far as favors went, that one was ridiculously small, or so she thought. "Agreed. What help can you offer me?" Illyria asked.

Knox took a big bite from his apple and waited until he had chewed and swallowed to answer her. "I know about the restrictions that imbecile Sweet placed on you," he said. "I saw you already summoned the Master here, but you should know he has his own agenda. He always has," Knox said, smiling in happy remembrances. "I can give you a power boost that will let you pluck some of the Doctor's more powerful enemies out of time," Knox offered. Illyria nodded her head in agreement. Knox lifted his right hand and a dirty looking flow of gold and white energy jumped from his hand to Illyria's chest. When the power transfer was complete, Knox faded in and out of existence until he was able to stabilize himself.

Illyria rolled her shoulders back and grinned savagely. "Who do you recommend I bring forth?" she asked Knox.

Knox matched her smile and chuckled. "You're going to love this," he said.

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch – Angel's Office**

The Doctor looked around the room that Angel used for his office. As usual, Angel was sitting behind his desk practicing his brooding skills. Gunn and Wesley were sitting on the couch and Lorne was at Angel's bar mixing himself another drink. The TARDIS was sitting off in a corner, clashing with the decor. The doors to the blue box opened and Faith walked out accompanied by Andrew.

"Well, it looks like we're all here," Gunn said a bit nervously.

The Doctor shook his head while he leaned back on Angel's desk. "Not quite, Charles. We're missing two," he pointed out. At that moment, Connor knocked on the door frame and walked into the office holding Ace's hand. Both of them were smiling.

"Where have you been?" Angel asked, angry that his son had been out all night.

"He was with me," Ace said protectively.

"And what were you two doing?" Angel demanded.

Ace just shrugged and said, "I'm just following in the Professor's footsteps and hooking up with someone younger than me." Lorne nearly choked on his drink. Faith walked over to the Doctor and wrapped her arm around the alien's thin waist. The addition of a Slayer in his way made Angel think twice about vaulting his desk and throttling his son.

The Doctor quickly changed the subject. "Does anyone have any ideas about a show stopping number?" he asked. "We only have a little less than two hours until I meet with Sweet again and he gives us a verdict," the Doctor said. The group looked at each other and everyone kept quiet.

"Sorry, our alien amigo; but we've all got nothing," Lorne said, gesturing with his drink.

"OK everybody this is Fred's life we're talking about," Angel said. He moved around Faith and the Doctor. "I want everyone to head to the lobby and see if anything pops into our heads," he ordered.

"Good idea, Angel," Wesley commented. "Perhaps with all of us in the lobby, we might break into a spontaneous group dance number," he said hopefully. Wesley got an odd look on his face. "Did I really just say that?" Wesley asked rhetorically.

Lorne finished off his drink and led them out of the office until only Faith and the Doctor remained. Faith stopped the Doctor from leaving by grabbing his suit coat. "I don't care if you have to hire an army of songwriters and choreographers. You **WILL** come out of this alive. Do you understand me?" Faith demanded from her lover. The Doctor gave her a small grin. "Oh no…I know that grin. You know something we don't," she accused.

"Let's just say I have a pretty good idea what the final number will be," the Doctor said cryptically.

"OK…so are you going to fill me in, or do I have to arm-wrestle you for it?" Faith asked.

The Doctor leaned down and kissed Faith's cheek. "Spoilers," he whispered.

Faith swatted the Doctor away playfully. "I hate it when you pull the spoilers card," she said. Faith gave the Doctor a mock threatening glare. "One of these days, I'm going to get you back for it," she promised. Faith strode out of the office leaving the Doctor alone.

The Doctor admired Faith's retreating backside for a moment and then ran into the TARDIS. He had just remembered something he had told himself once. The Doctor quickly found what he was looking for and put it in the "larger on the inside" pocket of his jacket. He raced back out of the TARDIS to rejoin his Companions and their friends.

Faith was talking with Angel and Lorne when she saw the Doctor exit Angel's office. She was about to wave him over to join them when she saw a metal disk about the size of a Frisbee slide along the floor towards the Doctor. Faith yelled for the Doctor to look out, but her alien boyfriend didn't react quickly enough. When the disk hit his foot, a bluish light engulfed the Doctor and he froze in mid-stride. A jelly baby that he had tossed up to catch in his mouth hung suspended in the air.

"What the fuck?" Faith yelled.

Ace ran over to the Doctor. "It's a temporal stasis field," she told Faith.

Everyone turned when they heard clapping coming from Harmony's desk. "Very good, Ace," the Master said. He was pointing a golden version of the Doctor's screwdriver at the Doctor. The Master shifted his aim slightly and a laser bolt vaporized a vase on the table behind the Doctor. "Just in case you were thinking of running over here to pummel me, Ms. Lehane," he explained. "The photons from my laser screwdriver will be slowed down by the stasis field, but when it is deactivated; the laser will kill him," the Master threatened.

Faith glanced around the lobby and saw that no one was close enough to the frosted blond guy to risk grabbing the laser thing he was holding. She stayed still, with her arms out to her side. "Who the hell are you?" Faith asked.

"I'm the Master, of course," the Master said. Ace gasped in shock. The Master's face was beaming with joy at her reaction.

"Buffy's nemesis or the Doctor's pain in the ass?" Faith asked. The Master gave Faith a stern look. "I'm going to guess the Doctor's since your face looks normal. At least until I get my hands on you," Faith warned.

The Master shifted his aim again and fired. The laser bolt slowed in the stasis field until it looked like it was completely stopped. It was clear that the laser would end up grazing the Doctor's leg. "Care to insult me again, Faith?" the Master asked. When Faith didn't reply he said, "I thought not." The Master was so happy that he felt like breaking into song.

"Slipping" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog - Joss Whedon

The Master spun around like he hadn't a care in the world. When he was done, he looked at each of the Doctor's friends in turn. Then he sang.

**Look at these People  
Amazing how sheep 'll  
Show up for the slaughter**

The Master skipped up next to Andrew and ruffled the young blond man's hair. Andrew stood still like a statue so as not to anger the crazy guy with a laser screwdriver.

**No one condemning  
You lined up like lemmings  
You're lead to the water**

The Master looked at the frozen form of the Doctor and tilted his head, as if in confusion. He took a couple of steps towards his nemesis.

**Why cant they see what I see  
Why cant they hear the lies  
Maybe the fees too pricey for them to realize  
Your disguise is slipping, I think you're slipping**

The Master spun around once more and faced the group of people.

**Now that your savior's  
as still as the grave you're  
beginning to fear me**

Like cavemen fear thunder  
I still have to wonder  
Can you really hear me

The Master slinked seductively back to Harmony's desk. He took her hand and led her out from behind the desk. The Master wrapped her in his arms and then spun her out fro his body, sending her crashing into one of the sofas along the wall. He gave Harmony a charming smile in response to her shocked expression at being tossed into the furniture. The Master sang softly to Harmony:

**I bring you pain, the kind you cant suffer quietly  
Fire up your brain remind you inside you're rioting  
Society is slipping, every things slipping away, so**

The Master fired off shots from his laser screwdriver at the ceiling while he sang loudly:

**Go ahead run away  
Say it was masterful  
Spread the word tell a friend  
Tell them the tale**

The Master danced around the group of heroes as he sang and fired off random shots at inanimate objects.

**Get a pic do a blog  
Heroes are over with  
Look at him not a word  
His epic fail**

Then I win then I get  
Everything I ever  
All the cash all the fame  
and social change

Anarchy's so much fun  
It's the Master's turn  
You people all have to learn  
This world is going to burn... burn (yeah it's capital M-A-S, yeah that's right) burn!

The Master said the last bit as he looked over Wesley's shoulder while he was busily scribbling notes about the encounter. When he was assured Wesley was spelling his name correctly, the Master pointed his laser screwdriver directly at the Doctor's head.

**No sign of Jack, what a shame  
I would give anything just to have him see**

The Master hesitated for a moment. He was finding it hard to finally kill off his old adversary. The Master tried to steal himself for the final shot. He was angry at himself for becoming soft ever since he took on the alias "Harold Saxon".

**It's gonna be bloody head up Harry buddy  
There's no time for mercy**

Here goes no mercy...

The Master was about to take the shot when he heard a word spoken by the one enemy he hated even more than the Doctor. "**_EXTERMINATE_**", said a metallic chorus of voices from the second floor deck.

"Well that's not a good sound…" the Master muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office - Lobby**

"**_EXTERMINATE_**", said a metallic chorus of voices from the second floor deck.

"Well that's not a good sound…" the Master muttered.

"Shit!" Ace yelled as she pushed Connor behind a support beam.

The Master made a snap decision and fired his screwdriver at the metal disk that was keeping the Doctor in stasis. When the field died, the laser bolt that was also held in stasis grazed the Doctor's leg, eliciting a loud, "Owe!"

The Doctor grabbed his leg in pain while Faith ran over to comfort him. "No time for that now," the Master shouted.

The Doctor's eyes became huge when he heard the familiar sound of a Dalek blaster killing people on the second floor. "What have you done?" he demanded from the Master.

The Master ducked behind a support beam himself. "Not me this time," he said. "You know I hate them as much as you do," the Master reminded the Doctor.

The Doctor hated to admit it, but the Master was probably telling the truth. He looked over at Angel who was still standing in the middle of the lobby, ready for a fight. "Angel, we need to retreat and regroup. We aren't ready to fight them," the Doctor said.

Angel looked at the Doctor and saw real fear in the ancient alien's face. He had only seen that look on the Doctor one time before. It was when Angelus had cut through a rope sending the Doctor's companion, Rose, plummeting down the inside of a bell tower. Lucky for Angelus, the Immortal saved Rose's life and the Doctor wasn't much on vengeance. Angel knew that the Doctor was afraid for their lives now. "Follow me," he yelled and ran off towards as set of stairs that led into the basement and then to the training level.

Ace kissed Connor suddenly and then whispered in his ear. "Go with your dad. I'll catch up with you guys later," she said.

"How will you find us?" Connor asked.

Ace looked at the Doctor and smiled. "Don't worry. I'll manage," she said. Ace kissed Connor again and then raced for the front doors and the out into the sunlight. Connor watched her go and then ran after his father and the rest of their group.

Angel led the group through back passageways and secret doors until they finally reached a pair of connected octagonal training rooms. When they got inside, the two vampires and the Slayer moved whatever heavy objects they could find to barricade the door. When they were satisfied, Faith turned to the Doctor. "I've seen you face down the First Evil without batting an eye," she started out. "What the hell is it about a bunch of robo voices giving a commercial for a pest service that can make you run?" she asked.

The Doctor and the Master answered in unison, "Daleks!"

"Shit!" Faith said as she looked back at the barricaded door. The Doctor had told her all about the Daleks and the Time War. "Angel, we need more stuff to block the door," Faith said.

A shimmering light started to form in the center of the room. It was accompanied by the throaty sound of a large motorcycle being revved. Everyone flattened themselves against the walls, except for the Doctor. He only took a couple of steps back to give the approaching vehicle room to materialize. The motorcycle engine noises became louder and a classic Harley Davidson with a heavily modified engine took form inside the room. On the back of the bike was Ace who was busy twisting knobs mounted below the handle bars.

The Doctor walked over and ran his hand along the black body of the motorcycle. "The Time Hopper is looking good, Ace," he told his old friend.

"Thanks, Professor," Ace replied. "I'm glad you still use the same homing signal in your screwdriver," she said as she stowed her helmet on the back of the bike.

"You ditched us for a motorcycle?" Connor asked, perplexed.

"No, silly," Ace replied. "I went back for this," she said as she reached down to the side of the bike and unstrapped a large metal baseball bat.

"A bat?" the Master spluttered. "I'm pretty sure that thing will be as useless as my moral compass against those Dalekanium armored monsters out there," he said mockingly.

"Actually, as I remember it, that particular bat is quite useful against their armor," the Doctor said smugly. The Master gave him a dubious look. "OK, I might have upgraded it a little," the Doctor admitted.

"Oooh, a sonic bat," the Master said sarcastically.

"It's not sonic, that would be ridiculous. Who would want a sonic baseball bat?" the Doctor asked. "No...I changed its quantum signature using the Hand of Omega," the Doctor explained. He saw the blank looks on every one's faces except for the Master and Ace. "I used a stellar manipulator to change how the bat reacts in the physical world and made it capable of bashing through the armor of a Dalek," be explained further.

"Where is the Hand now?" the Master asked hungrily. The Master's head was full of schemes that would be possible with the power of the Hand of Omega.

"I hid it again after I used it to set off Kasterborous prime," the Doctor said. "And no, I'm not telling you where I hid it," he told the Master.

Spike leaned over to Faith and whispered, "What the hell are they talking about?"

Faith glanced at her boyfriend and tried to decide how much she could tell Spike. "The Hand of Omega is a coffin shaped box that makes stars go supernova and then collapse back into black holes," she explained.

"So when Anya called him the Destroyer of Worlds, she was being literal?" Spike asked, impressed that the Doctor had cosmic level game.

"Yeah, but he really doesn't like talking about it," Faith said.

Angel stepped into the middle of the room, careful to not touch the Time Hopper. "Doctor, would you mind explaining what the hell a Dalek is? And while you're at, who is this creep and why are we letting him in on things? He just tried to kill you," Angel stated. Angel didn't know the man's name, or even what he was. He smelled strange, sort of like a cross between the Doctor and a vampire.

"Yeah, he does that quite often, actually" the Doctor said with a shrug of his shoulders.

The Master jerked his thumb towards Angel. "Not too bright is he?" he asked the Doctor. The Master turned to face Angel and gave a small flourish with his hand. "You may call me the Master," he said.

Angel smirked. "At least you're not as goofy looking as the last guy I dealt with who called himself that," he said. The Master didn't reply. He felt that now was not the time to explain that he was in fact the same Master that was Angelus' grandsire.

The Doctor looked coldly at the Master. "What are you doing here? More importantly, how did you get here?" the Doctor asked. The last time he had seen the Master was when he died in his arms, refusing to regenerate.

"I was pulled out time; just as I expect the Daleks were," the Master lied. It was easier than putting himself into a paradox or ruining the Doctor's surprise in regards to how he was brought back to life in a couple of years. The Master quickly changed the subject. "One quantumly augmented baseball bat isn't going to get us very far," he pointed out. "I thought I heard at least five separate 'exterminates' out there," the Master said.

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair. "Yes, well...you didn't exactly give me much time to plan things out as I remember," he said. The Doctor paced back and forth, his manic energy showing. He stopped and smacked his forehead. "Of course, why didn't I think of that before. Well... probably because I don't have many of them lying around the TARDIS. If I did they would just clutter up the place and Vortex knows I don't need more clutter. I've got plenty from living as long as I have," the Doctor babbled.

Faith stepped up the Doctor and held her finger up in front of his face. "Focus," she ordered.

"What? Sorry, what were we talking about?" the Doctor asked.

"I was saying that I hope you have a better idea for taking on a pack of Daleks other than rushing them with our screwdrivers and a baseball bat," the Master said. "Do you think 'pack' is the correct word to describe a group of Daleks, or is it a gaggle?" he wondered aloud.

Spike pointed to the Doctor and then the Master. "Are you two related?" he asked. Like Angel, Spike also smelled an odd mix coming from the Master. He just chalked it up to them being aliens.

The Master snickered at the thought of being related to the Doctor. "If we were, I wouldn't admit it," the Master said, giving the Doctor a look usually reserved for things found under rocks. "We are from separate houses," was all he would say further on the matter.

The Doctor glared at the Master and then went on to explain his plan. "The Daleks are extreme killing machines with technology way beyond anything humans have currently. They can project a forcefield that makes them almost impervious to your weapons," the Doctor told Angel. "With that in mind, I believe we should employ the inverse of Sagan's Law," he said smugly.

The Master began grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Oh that's brilliant, Doctor. I'm sure we can find something like that here at the offices of the infamous Wolfram & Hart," he praised the Doctor.

Andrew clapped his hands. "Of course, that makes total sense," he said.

Faith smacked the Doctor on the back of the head. "Want to explain that in something other than Nerdese?" she asked impatiently.

The Doctor rubbed the back of his head and gave his lover an injured look. "Carl Sagan was a friend of mine who said, 'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Magic," he explained.

"Oooh, I get it," Wesley said nodding his head. Faith gave him a warning look. "The inverse of Sagan's law would be that any sufficiently advanced Magic would be in indistinguishable from technology," he explained to his one time charge.

"Why didn't you just say that you thought magic weapons would be useful against the giant salt shakers?" Faith asked the Doctor.

The Doctor looked at her with genuine confusion. "I thought I just did," he said.

Faith rolled her eyes. "Angel, got anything nearby that fits the bill?" she asked the brooding vampire. "Preferably some place where we don't have to encounter Daleks first?"

In response, Angel banged on the wall over a particular decoration. A panel in the wall slid away, revealing a lighted weapons rack with swords and axes. "You mean like this?" Angel asked. "I had staff round up as many magical weapons as they could find in the building and leave them in my office. When most of the staff went home, I went around and installed these safety boxes just in case the Senior Partners decided to go back on their word," he explained.

Faith started to reach out and ruffle her friend's hair in approval, but was stopped by Spike and Angel both saying, "Not the hair!" Spike grinned maliciously at Angel while Angel gave him the finger.

Faith almost skipped over to the weapons cache. She selected a pair of matched short swords. Angel stepped over and began handing out weapons. Spike was the last one in line and the only thing left was a small hand axe with Nordic runes on the handle. "Bugger," Spike said as he looked at how small the axe was.

The Doctor cleared his throat, causing Spike to look his way. The manic alien gave his friend a wink and then addressed Wesley. "Would you say that letting Illyria win this little completion would be hazardous to Great Britain?" the Doctor asked.

Wesley blinked in surprise at the odd question. "From what I've read, she will be a tremendous threat to the entire world, not just the British Isles," he said. Wesley could tell from the expectant look that the Doctor gave him that he wanted a more precise answer. "Yes, if Illyria wins, Great Britain will be in grave danger," he said formally.

The Doctor looked at Spike. "Spike, you're originally from England. Do you agree that if an extremely powerful and completely deranged being should rise, she would be a threat to your motherland?" he asked. Spike nodded slowly, trying to figure out what the Doctor was trying to get out of them. "How about you Angel?" the Doctor asked. "If I'm not mistaken, you're originally from Ireland," he said.

Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah I suppose so. From what Wes has told me, Illyria was very bad news when she was here last time. I'm betting she won't be happy to find out the humans have over run the place," he said.

The Doctor clapped his hands once and said, "Well, that's three for three from folks from Great Britain. Illyria is officially a threat to the British Isles." He reached into his spatially warped pocket and pulled out a plain looking sword and handed it over to Spike.

"Oh I've missed you, love" Spike told the sword.

Angel and Wesley's eyes were nearly bugging out of their heads. "Is that…?" Wesley tried to say. He couldn't get his mouth to work, he was in so much shock.

"Yep, he and I are old friends," Spike said smugly. He moved the blade so a light reflected in Angel's eyes. "Mate, let me introduce you to none other than Excalibur," he said.

Angel looked from the sword to the Doctor and then back again. "Long story," the Doctor muttered.

"What's so long about you being Merlin?" Faith asked, teasing the Doctor.

Wesley was sure his head would explode with the assault on his senses. Like any soldier of good, he had recognized the sword instantly. Now he was forced to accept the concept that the Earth's most famous sorcerer had actually been an alien.

"All right, everybody armed?" the Master asked. He was feeling very nervous in the presence of Excalibur. He could feel the sentient energies given off by the blade. The Master saw they were all ready and turned to face the barricade they had put up. He raised his laser screwdriver and pointed it at the objects pressed against the door. He smiled when the Doctor took up a firing stance next to him and raised his sonic screwdriver.

The Master turned his head to look at the Doctor. "Do you remember when we used to fight side by side all the time?" he asked.

The Doctor got a wistful smile on his face. "Primary school, wasn't it?" he asked. "We were always pretending to be the Other and Omega," the Doctor said. The Master nodded and faced the barricade once more. Simultaneously they activated their screwdrivers and the entire barricade flashed into nothing.

"Just so you know…I was a better Omega than you," the Master teased.

"Boys are Back" from Disney's HSM3

"4 Minutes" by Madonna and Justin Timberlake

A strong bass beat came out of thin air causing the Doctor and the Master to grin at each other. They jumped out into the hall and a ghostly image of the Citadel on Gallifrey framed by the twin suns of Kasterborous flashed on the wall. The Master and the Doctor began to sing.

**Both: Take It Back To The Place Where You Know That It All Began.**

Master: We Can Be Anything We Wanna Be!

Both: You Can Tell By The Noise That The Boys Are Back Again!

Doctor: Together Makin' History!

Both: This Is Our Time, And I'm Tellin' You All,

Doctor: Tonight We're Gonna All Out! I Think It's Time To Show How To Be A Superhero!

Both: This Is Our Time, And I'm Tellin' You All!

Spike and Faith were the next through the door and started singing.

**Both Faith and Spike: If you want it  
You already got it  
If you thought it  
It better be what you want  
If you feel it  
It must be real just  
Say the word and  
I'll give you what you want**

Faith: Time is waiting

Spike: We only got four minutes to save the world

Faith: No hesitating  
Grab a boy

Spike: Go grab a girl

Faith: Time is waiting

Spike: We only got four minutes to save the world

Faith: No hesitating

Spike: We only got four minutes huh four minutes  
So keep it up keep it up  
Don't be a prima donna

Spike sang the last line staring at Angel as he led the rest of the team into the hallway.

The Doctor and the Master encountered the first Dalek when they came to a T-intersection in the passageway. The Doctor used his sonic screwdriver to make the overhead lights flash brightly, temporarily blinding the Dalek. The Master shot the Dalek in the eyestalk with his laser screwdriver, killing it.

**Both the Doctor and the Master: The Boys Are Back!  
Gonna Do It Again!  
Gonna Wake Up The Neighborhood!  
The Boys Are Back! The Boys Are Back!  
Climbin' Up The Walls, Anytime We Want!  
The Word Is Out, The Boys Are Back!**

Doctor: Keep Dealing With The Right When We Fight Every Single Time! Undefeated Here on Earth, Yeah!

Both: We Can Rock, We Can Shock, When We Like.

Doctor: Tonight We're Gonna All Out! It's Time To Show How To Be A Superhero!

Both: This Is Our Time, And I'm Tellin' You All!

A Dalek came from the opposite side of the T-intersection. Faith and Spike sauntered up to the killing machine and sang to it.

**Faith: Time is waiting**

Spike: We only got four minutes to save the world

Faith: No hesitating

Spike: We only got four minutes huh four minutes  
So keep it up keep it up  
Don't be a prima donna

Spike swung Excalibur and cut off the Dalek's blaster. Faith used her enhanced Slayer strength to jab both of her magic swords into the seam below the rotating head. The Dalek let out a synthesized scream and ceased to function.

Faith looked down the hallway at the Doctor and the Master as they ran down towards the enemy.

**Faith: They're going with their hearts  
Tick tock tick tock**

Spike: That's right keep it up keep it up  
Don't be a prima donna

Faith and Spike raced after the Doctor and found them facing the last three Daleks in the lobby. As soon as the Doctor and the Master hit the lobby, they dropped to their knees and slid several feet on the polished wood floor.

**Both the Doctor and the Master: The Boys Are Back!  
Gonna Do It Again!  
Gonna Wake Up The Neighborhood!  
The Boys Are Back! The Boys Are Back!  
Climbin' Up The Walls, Anytime We Want!  
The Word Is Out, The Boys Are Back!**

The Doctor stood up and held up his arms in a pose of defiance against his most hated enemies. The Dalek in charge said in surprise, "**_The Doctor is here!_**"

"Hey, what about me? Don't forget about the Master," the Master shouted as he sprang to his feet.

The Daleks pivoted to look at the Master and the Doctor and back again. "**_The Doctor and the Master? Impossible!_**" the lead Dalek said, a tiny amount of fear showing in its voice.

The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the closest Dalek and sang.

**Doctor: Here To Change The World!**

Both the Doctor and the Master: To Solve A Mystery, Fight The Battle, Save The Girl! No One Can Stop Us Now, We're The Ones Who Make The Rules!  
The Boys Are Back!

Master: No Need To Worry, Cause…

The Master shot the base of a chandelier causing it to fall on the Dalek closest to him. Faith, Spike, Angel, and the rest of the gang ran through the doorway and took up positions throughout the lobby.

Ace swung her bat for all she was worth and left a huge dent on the Dalek the Doctor was distracting with his sonic screwdriver. Faith followed up on that attack by cutting off the eyestalk with her swords, leaving the Dalek blind. Ace slammed her bat down onto the Dalek blaster, breaking it off. She then proceeded to bash the Dalek to death as it rolled around aimlessly; blind and impotent. Faith spun one of her swords around her hand and sang.

**Faith: Time is waiting**

Spike: We only got four minutes to save the world

Faith: No hesitating

Spike: We only got four minutes huh four minutes  
So keep it up keep it up  
Don't be a prima donna

Faith: They're going with their hearts  
Tick tock tick tock

Spike: That's right keep it up keep it up  
Don't be a prima donna

The Dalek that was struck with the chandelier rolled out from under the debris and snapped off a shot, striking Angel square in the chest. Angel's body glowed from the inside making him look like an x-ray portrait of himself. When the glowing effect wore off, Angel put his hand over the burned spot on his shirt. "That was one of my favorite shirts!" he complained.

"**_Impossible…you should have been exterminated,_**" the Dalek said, confused.

"Already dead," Angel explained. He raised his sword over his shoulder and stared at the Dalek. Angel's face shifted as he took on his vampiric aspect. He rushed the Dalek and rammed his magic sword completely through the center of the Dalek. Sparks and green ooze flew out of the Dalek as a foot of steel sprouted out of its back.

The remaining Dalek backed away slowly from the fray where the lesser beings were using weapons it wasn't designed to defend itself against. It stopped suddenly as it detected motion coming from both of its flanks. The Dalek swiveled its head to look at the Doctor and the Master who were approaching it from opposite sides. The two remaining Gallifreyans sang out while they leveled their screwdrivers at the Dalek.

**Both the Doctor and the Master: The Boys Are Back! The Boys Are Back!**

Doctor: Look Out Now!

Both: The Boys Are Back, Gonna Do It Again

Master: And We Make It Look Good!

Both: The Boys Are Back! The Boys Are Back! Smackin' Down The Daleks, Anytime We Want! We're Sure That You Know By Now, The Boys Are Back!

They fired their screwdrivers at the same time. The combination of the two tools caused the Dalek to shimmer and then explode into a fine dust, similar to how vampires expire.

A shimmering wave passed over the lobby causing the Doctor to look up in concern. "What?" the Doctor asked indignantly.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" Faith asked.

"Someone is messing with time," the Doctor explained. At that moment Sweet the Devil Prince flashed into existence in the lobby. He was lounging comfortably on one of the few couches that hadn't been destroyed in the battle.

"Time's up, Doc," Sweet said with a malicious grin. "I still haven't seen anything to make me drop my popcorn," he said. "Although to be fair, that last number was interesting. I didn't expect you to team up with one of Evil's greatest champions," Sweet admitted.

"You lose, Doctor," Drayelav said from across the room. He was standing next to what remained of Fred Burkle. Illyria had taken control of the human's body. Her hair and skin were tinted blue.

The Doctor clenched his teeth in anger. He pointed an accusing finger at Sweet. "I still had an hour, well actually an hour and four minutes until the end of the competition," the Doctor yelled.

Sweet looked at him curiously. He closed his eyes and used his temporary powers as a pro-tem judge to review things. His eyes snapped open. "You're right. Someone's been cheating," Sweet said as he glanced at Drayelav. "Tell you what, Doctor," he said ,"I'll give you one last chance to do a number that knocks my socks off." Sweet stood up and tap danced over to the Doctor. "But I have to warn you. These socks are on pretty good," he said. Drayelav smiled at the impending doom of the Doctor. His smile faltered when he saw the Doctor was also smiling. The smile on the Doctor's face was one of smug self-assurance.

The Doctor walked into the exact center of the lobby and sat down in the lotus position. "Gotta tell you, Doc; even I know that's not a real exciting way to start a number," Angel warned. The Doctor ignored Angel and closed his eyes. He sent out an astral call for help, confident that he would be heard.

**Throughout Time and Space**

An elderly man in a black suit looked up suddenly from the controls of his Time capsule. He sat down on the floor of the control room and crossed his legs under him. A young version of Susan Foreman ran over to her grandfather. "Are you not feeling well?" she asked.

The Doctor opened one eye and glanced at his granddaughter. "I have received an astral summons," he said. "Do not disturb me while I send myself into the astral plane," the Doctor instructed Susan. He closed his eyes again and concentrated on answering the summons.

DRW

"Jamie, we need to stop for a moment," the Doctor said. The man with the terrible haircut sat down on a boulder that was near the trail they were hiking on.

"Is everything all right, Doctor" Jamie asked as he trotted back to the short alien.

"Oh yes, everything's fine. I just need to answer a summons from the astral plane," the Doctor said as if it was something that happened every day.

DRW

The Doctor motored along the road in his convertible, his white hair blowing in the wind. He felt a tug on his consciousness and grinned. "So this is when I get the summons in this regeneration. I was wondering when it would arrive," the Doctor said to himself as he pulled over to the side of the road. He adjusted the seat and made himself comfortable. The Doctor closed his eyes and sent out his consciousness in answer to the plea for help.

DRW

"Listen here, Sarah Jane," the Doctor stated to say. He was frustrated that his Companion had reorganized the library without his permission.

"Your sorting system was awful, Doctor," Sarah Jane Smith told her friend. She had been wanting to do this ever since she joined him in his last incarnation.

The Doctor got a far off look on his face. "Hold that thought," the Doctor ordered. He plopped down on the floor and closed his eyes. "Back in a few," he said as he closed his eyes.

DRW

"Master?" K-9 asked as he rolled up to the Doctor who was sitting down in the chair along the white walls of the control room. "I detect an odd energy signature emanating from the Time Rotor," the robotic dog said.

"It's all right, K-9. It's just me," the Doctor said. He took a calming breath and centered himself. He was glad Tegan and Adric were still asleep in their quarters. It would be nearly impossible to concentrate as with them babbling.

DRW

The Doctor was waltzing with Jack as Rose looked on, stunned. The Doctor spun Jack towards Rose. "If you don't mind, I need to sit this one out," he said. As Rose and Jack danced, the Doctor leaned back against the railing in the control room. He had done this eight other times, and was getting the hang of it. The Doctor closed his eyes and responded to the astral summons.

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch – Lobby**

"Tubthumping" by Chumbamba

The lobby was very quiet until a stately old man walked out from behind one of the pillars. He started tapping his cane on the floor in a steady rhythm. "No…fucking…way," Faith exclaimed. The first Doctor gave Faith a disapproving look. She shut her mouth with an audible snap. The old man walked over and stood next to the tenth Doctor who was had his eyes closed, concentrating. The second Doctor and the eighth Doctor popped up from behind different ruined couches. They sang out clearly.

**2nd and 8th Doctors: We'll be singing, when we're winning, we'll be singing.**

The third and the ninth Doctor strolled out from Angel's office. They added their voices to the other two Doctors and all four of them sang.

**2nd, 3rd, 8th, and 9th Doctors: I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down**

The sixth Doctor sang out in a clear tenor voice from the railing on the second floor deck overlooking the lobby.

**6th Doctor: Drifting through Time and Space, Drifting through Time and Space**

1st Doctor: I've fought the Daleks, I've fought the Elders  
I've fought the Maaga, I've fought the Moroks  
I sing the songs that remind me of the good times  
I sing the songs that remind me of the better times

6th Doctor: Oh Time Lord Boy, Time Lord Boy, Time Lord Boy

The seventh Doctor walked in through the front doors. He tipped his hat when he saw Ace. The fifth Doctor popped up from behind Harmony's desk and straightened his jacket, making sure his celery stalk was facing the right way. He put on his straw hat with a flourish.

**2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 8th, and 9th Doctors: I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down**

6th Doctor: Drifting through Time and Space, Drifting through Time and Space

A man with bushy hair wearing a large scarf materialized next to the tenth Doctor. He placed a hand on the sitting Doctor's shoulder in support for his endeavor. The fourth Doctor glared at Sweet and sang.

**I've fought the Cybermen, I've fought the Silurians  
I've fought the Daleks, I've fought the Master  
I sing the songs that remind me of the good times  
I sing the songs that remind me of the better times**

The fourth Doctor squeezed the tenth's Doctor shoulder as the other incarnations made their way to the center of the lobby. By the time the tenth Doctor stood up, the rest of Doctors had formed up in a line with him as the center. They stomped forward in time with the music while they sang.

**All of the Doctors: I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You nay ever gonna keep me down**

The Doctors stopped only a few feet from the Devil Prince. With their last stomp they sang out loudly.

**I Get Knocked Down!**

When the final note of their song faded away, so did the other versions of the Doctor. Sweet clapped his hands in genuine enjoyment of the musical number. "I have to hand it to you, Doctor. It's not every day that I see a full chorus number performed by one person," he laughed. The Master took the opportunity of every one focused on the devil to quietly sneak out of the lobby and down to the sewer tunnels that ran under the building. _He_ had been impressed by the Doctor's number and guessed Sweet would be too. The last thing the Master needed was having to explain why he stayed around after Illyria's magic was cut off.

Faith saw the confused looks on Angel and his friends' faces. "I'll explain later," she whispered.

Sweet stood up from the couch he was lounging on and tapped his chin thoughtfully. "This is going to be a tough decision, " he said. "On one hand I have a tremendous ending number by the Doctor and on the other, I have the fact that he ran out of time," Sweet muttered.

"You said someone was cheating on Illyria's behalf," Wesley said. "That should disqualify her outright," he argued.

Sweet stopped pacing and faced Wesley. He waved his hand over his own face. "In case you didn't get the memo, I'm evil," Sweet informed the ex-Watcher. "Normally I wouldn't give to drops of demon piss that someone had been cheating, however as a judge I'm bound to make it at look like I'm being fair," he said. "If the cheating had come from the Senior Partners or one of their ilk, then I would have to find in favor of the Doctor. As it is, the help came from one of the Powers That Be," Sweet explained.

"What?" the Doctor and Angel asked in unison.

Dr. Drayelav started laughing. He shifted form and looked like Knox, but kept the white lab coat on. "Guilty as charged, _your honor_," Knox said to Sweet.

"Who are you?" the Doctor asked. "And why are you helping Illyria?"

"I'll answer the second half of that question first," Knox said. "Let's just say that I have my future riding on your encounter with Illyria," he said. "As for who I am, Doctor….all you have to do is look in a mirror," Knox told him. Knox disappeared in a flash light leaving a white lab coat on the floor with Dr. Drayelav's Wolfram & Hart ID badge clipped to the front.

"I've made my decision," Sweet informed the group. Illyria and the Doctor stepped forward to hear the verdict. "Due to the odd circumstances surrounding this case, I'm ruling in favor of both the petitioner and the defendant," Sweet informed them.

Illyria smiled. "It will be no bother that the Doctor gets to keep his life. As a god upon this world it won't take much to destroy him myself," she bragged.

"That's not going to happen," Sweet told the Old One. Before she could ask why, Sweet went on to explain his ruling. "I'm letting you keep your existence, but I'm severely limiting your powers," he said. "Most of us in the lower planes like messing with the nice people up here and would take it badly if you 'exterminated' the humans," Sweet said. "As for Fred Burkle…" he said and then paused for dramatic effect. The wait was physically painful for Wesley. "Since I'm ruling for both parties, I guess she gets to keep her existence as well," he said.

"How will you accomplish that? I have already taken over her body and I can't exist in this dimension without a host body," Illyria complained.

"You'll be time-sharing that body," Sweet explained. "Ms. Burkle gets the body during the daytime and you get it during the night," he told her. Sweet glanced out the front doors and saw that the Sun was up. "Speaking of which…" he snapped his fingers and Illyria's facial expressions changed to one of wonder and confusion.

"Where am I?" Fred asked as she tried to get her bearings. "And what am I wearing?" she asked. Wesley rushed to her and took a blue toned Fred into his arms. Her sobbed into her hair.

"I thought I had lost you. I couldn't live without you," Wesley told her. He took in a deep breath and said the one phrase he wanted to make sure Fred heard in case something else were to happen. "I love you," he said with all of his heart.

"Touching," Sweet said as he rolled his eyes. Sweet looked directly at the Doctor. "Think of this as a coming attraction, Doctor," he said cryptically before disappearing in puff of blue smoke and sparkles.

"What the hell did that mean?" Faith asked.

"I'm really not sure," the Doctor admitted. He desperately hoped that he wasn't going to have to deal with another Old One any time soon.

Ace had wandered over to the lab coat and picked it up. She held the ID badge and ran her fingers across the name. There was something nibbling at the edge of her consciousness. Going with a hunch, she did exactly as the weird shape shifting doctor had said and held up the badge to a mirror on the wall. She read off the letters silently to herself. "_V-A-L-E-Y-A-R-D…oh shit,_" she thought. "Doctor!" Ace yelled and ran the ID badge over to him.

The Doctor took the badge in his hand and read the name. He mentally did a reverse of the letters and came to the same awful conclusion. "The Valeyard," he whispered. "NO…no…no!" the Doctor screamed and threw the badge as hard as he could.

"Valeyard…Drayelav…what's the difference?" Gunn asked.

The Doctor took Faith's hand for support; but even with that, he wasn't able to muster the strength to answer Gunn. Ace put her hand on the Doctor's other shoulder and looked at Gunn. "The Valeyard is the Professor, only an evil version of himself," she said. This caused a collective gasp from everyone in the room. "He's royally pissed off that the Professor broke the rules and altered his own time line so that the Valeyard wouldn't ever come into existence in the first place. Being a version of the Professor, this only handicapped the Valeyard rather than completely destroying him," Ace explained. "The Valeyard had been scheming ways to get a physical body ever since," she said.

Gunn hung his head in utter defeat. Selling his soul to the Devil was one thing, but he had sold his to something far worse. He turned around and walked into his office, shutting the door behind him. Once inside he broke down and cried.

**Wolfram & Hart, LA Branch Office – Angel's Office (the next day)**

"Are you sure about this, Andrew?" the Doctor asked the young man.

"Yes Doctor, I'm sure," Andrew said. "It's been great, but I think I'll head back with Spike and work with Buffy again," he said. "Hanging out with a bunch of Slayers has to be safer than traveling with you," he joked.

The Doctor smiled at Andrew, still terrible at goodbyes after a nearly a thousand years. Faith leaned over and gave Andrew a hug. "See you later, Andrew. For what it's worth, I hope you find some nice to love and be loved by like what the Doctor and I have," she said.

"I'm not gay," Andrew protested for the hundredth time.

"Riiight," everyone in the office, including Ace and Connor, said. Andrew looked embarrassed at being outed. He plopped down on a couch as far away from the others so he could have a good pout.

Faith shook her head in amusement. Lorne came over and shook the Doctor's hand. "See you around you handsome hunk of alien," he said, not being ashamed of his sexuality. "As for you, sweetheart…give me a hug," Lorne asked Faith. Faith hugged the green demon who then went to sit by Andrew and try to talk some sense into him.

Wesley was the next to approach the Doctor and Faith. Fred was holding his hand in her blue tinged one. "As always, it has been…an adventure," he told Faith.

Faith looked at Fred. "get him to loosen the fuck up, will ya?" she asked the other woman.

"I'll try," Fred laughed. Fred stepped up to the Doctor and stood on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek. When her mouth was near his ear she whispered, "Thank you. I'll never be able to repay you. You not only saved my life, but you rescued Wes' soul."

The Doctor grinned at her, embarrassed by the thanks. "My pleasure," assured Fred. Wesley and Fred stepped back letting Angel step forward.

"Gunn said he isn't feeling well and asked that I send his regards," Angel said. He shook the Doctor's hand and then looked seriously at his old adversary. "Treat her right, Doctor; or I'll come looking for you. Eventually I'll find you, 'cause you know I'm not getting any older," Angel advised.

Faith punched Angel in the arm hard enough to make even him wince. He smiled at her and gave her a hug. "See you around, Angel," Faith said.

Angel was pushed aside by Spike. "Piss off, mate. It's my turn" he told his grandsire. Angel threw up his hands in frustration and went back to sitting at his desk. Spike gave the Doctor and Faith both hugs in turn. "It's never boring when you're around , Doctor," Spike said happily. "That's why I can't wait for the bachelor party," he said.

"Um…well…yes, about that, Spike," the Doctor started to say.

"No changing your mind now. I might have to go and ask Captain Hair gel if you back out," Spike said in mock horror.

"Can't have that now, can we?" the Doctor teased. Angel held up a file and pretended to read it, giving the others the brush off. The Doctor smiled at Angel's behavior. "Have Buffy call me on her mobile when you two set a date. I'm sure the TARDIS will make sure we make it," he assured the blonde vampire.

Spike joined Lorne at the bar and was replaced by Ace and Connor. The Doctor took his foster daughter in his arms and squeezed her tight. "I've missed you, Ace," he said.

"Don't get all mushy on me, Professor," Ace said as she rolled her eyes. Despite her words, she did nothing to get away from his embrace. Eventually the Doctor let go.

"You know you're always welcome in the TARDIS," the Doctor said. He looked at Connor and added, "the Invitation goes for you as well."

Ace sighed. "Thanks, Professor, but we both know I can do more good on my Time Hopper," she told him.

The Doctor nodded and put a companionable hand on both Ace and Connor's shoulders. "Take care of each other," he ordered.

"You guys do the same," Connor said.

The Doctor clapped his hands and walked towards the open door of the TARDIS. "Well, I guess that's it now. Time to leave," he said.

As the Doctor and Faith entered the TARDIS. The two vampires heard her tell the Doctor, "From now on, no musicals on movie night, OK?"

The doors to the TARDIS shut and soon after the now familiar sound of the TARDIS dematerializing sounded in the office. As the blue phone box disappeared, Angel asked Spike, "Do you ever get used to that?"

"I hope I never do, mate" Spike said with a grin.

**Epilogue  
Celestial Boardroom**

The Valeyard stood before the Chairman and the ascended Time Lady, Susan Foreman. He was being forced to account for his actions concerning their operations on Earth. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" the Chairman asked.

"Like I told the Devil Prince, guilty as charged," the Valeyard said. He was still wearing the form of Knox.

"Then we have no choice to but to enact the harshest punishment the Powers That Be can hand down," the Chairman said solemnly.

The Valeyard smiled happily at the other Powers. He saw the confused look on Susan's face. The Valeyard decided to let the newest Power in on the plan. "The worst punishment they dim wits could think of was being cast down…made corporeal," he informed Susan.

Susan clenched her teeth in anger. She wanted to smite the smug bastard, but that was strictly forbidden. "Fine, but I'll do the casting down," Susan said. She glared at the Valeyard and snapped her fingers; sending the entity to the physical plane where he could enjoy a physical body of his own.

The first thing the Valeyard noticed was the breeze on his skin. He opened his eyes and looked out across a vast plain of purple colored grasses. The Valeyard had assumed that the little bitch would send him someplace uninhabited. It didn't really matter as far as he was concerned. As a Time Lord he would posses all of the skills and abilities necessary to make contact with a passing space ship.

The Valeyard took I a deep breath and started hiking towards a mountain he saw in the distance. After about an hour of walking in the thin atmosphere, the Valeyard was more tired than he expected. He stopped for a break and put his fingers on his throat so he feel his pulse. The Valeyard screamed at the sky as he realized his pulse had just one set of beats, indicating he had only one heart. Susan Foreman had given him a body just as the Powers had mandated she do, but she had sent him down as a human. "DOCTOR!" the Valeyard screamed in frustration.


End file.
